The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading discusses how hard it can be to see our progress in recovery. For those of us who have operated with high expectations, it's even more difficult. When we expect our negative attitudes and unhealthy behaviors to change fast and completely, we are going to be disappointed - progress is hard to see when we measure ourselves against idealized standards.
Maybe it's better to compare our present circumstances to where we were.... This is where the steps of our program are so very helpful. For the writer of today's daily, a 4th step inventory revealed holding on to grudges tightly hurt the holder way more than anyone else. Also how despairing is it when we try to let go of resentments only to determine they and the attitudes persist...
Al-Anon does teach us to focus on progress, not perfection. Letting go of perfection allows us to accept things as they are, just for today. Letting go of perfection also allows us to focus on what's really important - what direction am I going?
Today's reminder -- As a result of hard work in Al-Anon and a willingness to change, I am moving in a positive direction. I will celebrate my progress today. I know that the process of recovery will continue to help me grow toward a better way of living.
Today's Quote -- a Latin proverb -- "Keep adding little by little and you will soon have a big hoard."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~bmpared my insides to what others showed me on the outside. Others appeared happier than me, more functional than me/us and the grass really looked greener in their yard than mine.
Al-Anon asked me to instead focus on where I am today vs. where I was yesterday or beyond. Others suggested I look closely at what is working vs. what is not working. Others suggested I make gratitude lists and asset lists and let go of what I can't change/control - yesterday or tomorrow.
This seemed really 'simple' to my brain compared to all the chaos/drama going on around me - but it did work! As I kept the focus on me, and looked at my assets, defects and choices I regained a bit of sanity which gave me more self-esteem. The more I let go, the more I gained on a spiritual level. Leaning into this program and aligning with a HP of my understanding truly freed me from my own way of thinking, dealing and living.
So grateful for our program and MIP - happy Thursday all - make it a great day!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Great reading and lovely share IAH. Love that alanaon promotes the principle of progress not perfection and have found that asset and gratitude lists rely did have a powerful affect on my attitudes. When I entered program I ALWAYS saw the"glass as half full" and I could not even say the word gratitude. Using the simple tools of gratitude and asset lists, sharing, working the Steps, One day I found myself truly feeling grateful and seeing the world and glass as half full .
I must note that I did not concentrate on changing these attitudes they simply changed as have many others as the result of this simple program. Thanks for your service.
-- Edited by Iamhere on Sunday 31st of January 2021 01:07:27 PM
I am so glad we can strive for progress and not beat ourselves up for the lack of perfection. I have to remind myself of that every time I say something I regret, or react vs. respond. I know that I am moving forward, although sometimes there is a little pivot in my step!
Gratitude lists. Boy, has my opinion changed about them. Like Betty, I was a half-empty type and I had to chuckle Betty, at not even being able to SAY the word gratitude! My ex- mother-in-law was a continuously half-to always full type person. She could see the silver lining and positive in every single situation. Needless to say, she really pissed me off! LOL. Oh, I was so sick of her Pollyanna look on everything; I wanted to gag every time she opened her mouth! Well, who had the better mental health? Certainly not I at that time. Now I force myself to find gratitude and that ol' silver lining as quickly as I can when the storms are crashing around me. It really does calm the mind and limit the exaggeration of the situation. I am so thankful for gratitude and asset lists!
Practice, practice, practice. One Day At A Time; One Moment At A Time.
