The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
or lack of it .. I have been ill for the past week and today is honestly the first day at my job I feel like a real person vs a zombie watching the clock .. ugh.
I have a LOT of financial responsibilities going on at the moment with birthday's, two important ones .. one is 13 and the other is 18. My daughter is graduating and everything that goes with graduation .. oi. We are really trying to tie everything together at the moment. Braces for the oldest .. next year will hopefully be braces for the youngest .. oh the joys. There is Easter coming up as well and that's not a big holiday however it's a family one.
I'm really trying to have compassion for my X .. however when I know that he has 2 salaries adding up to close to or over 100k living in one of the lowest cost of living areas in the country, we are talking a 3bed/2bath in town about 400$ a month if that if you are buying and he is. It's really difficult when I have already forked out money for a lot of what is going on to hear that I'm going to have to foot the bill and be reimbursed to the tune of 100$ a month .. LOL. To actually try to gain empathy through poor XAH his back is really bad .. you can kind of picture my reaction to that .. worlds smallest violin playing. I'm just not impressed and I'm actually bored (never a good thing for either when it comes to me .. LOL).
When I think about when I have been ill or when I asked for help from my XAH it's very, and do I mean very difficult for me to take a breath and not respond with a scathing remark, so progress not perfection. That was when we lived in the same town forget about not being in the same town .. lol. Do you think he actually thinks about anyone except himself? SMH .. whatever so not my issue.
What I am grateful for is the fact that I am far better off than I was this time last year. I am taking positive steps forward even with setbacks .. I still manage to move forward .. I get the memories of my oldest child's graduation and he will not. I get the hugs, tears, laughter, watching both kids soar and grow, .. he does not. It's still disappointing that he makes a conscious decision not to be involved with them and that baffles my mind more than the alcoholism does.
S :)
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
You seem to be working the program well, It can be very difficult dealing with an EX who isn't cooperative. You seem to be catching yourself before you take too many steps toward your old ways. I am proud of you! Also your kids will grow up knowing that you are there for them and care! Keep up the great work and thanks for being here to share your story and words of wisdom!
