The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's page mentions what may once have been common, everyday feelings: discomfort when our qualifiers arrive home late, concern about where they are in their program, and fear and anger that come with the assumption they've returned to drinking.
Fortunately, that is not AlAnon thinking. With the help of our program we see the benefit of keeping the focus on ourselves, and move away from letting their choices determine our serenity. Ultimately, it is neither helpful nor loving to pile on suspicion and punishment to the injuries their disease brings them.
Today's Reminder suggests we remember to '...carefully guard [our] own mental sobriety. This gift from [our] higher power will express itself in a quiet, reasonable attitude, regardless of what happens.'
"I pray that I may not fall into the error of anticipating trouble. If it should come, let me meet it with equanimity and love."
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I appreciate this reminder because I continue to work on this point. I find it easy to try to justify my negative feelings, and harder for me remember that it is understanding and compassion that my qualifier needs most of all.
My suspicion, fear, or anger toward my qualifier does not help at all, but it does damage us both. The times I turn their recovery over to their higher power and rely on mine, and respond with love regardless of the circumstances, are the times when I feel the power of the program and true serenity.
Let Go, Let God, One day at a time...
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Good Morning Paul Thank you for this powerful reminder.
After entering program and learning to be honest open and willing,I could finally see how my negative attitudes affected not only myself but the climate in my home. Alanon's principle of "detachment with love "was not an easy tool for me to master but it was oh so worth it . Maintaining my serenity and peace no matter what was going on around me is a great gift of this program.
When I read this posting I was reminded of the childhood story of the wind and the sun competing with each other. The sun won the contest because of the warmthit maintained. The sun was able to have a person take off his coat whereby the person simply buttoned up his coat tighter around him when the cold wind blew.
"The error of anticipating trouble"...
I'm existing in a lot of error right now, though I know, and constantly remind myself, to turn this over to my HP. I worry a lot about potential trouble late at night when I'm trying to get to sleep.
Then again, there is hope. It is likely that things won't turn out like I anticipate because I am not the one in control. That gives me some hope, and I continue to pray for serenity, wisdom, and courage.
Thanks Paul for the daily and your service. Thanks to all above me for your shares. I am one who has to remember each day that I am affected deeply by this disease yet I have a program, tools, higher power to relieve me for this day only should I practice using them. If I get into a 'funk' of any kind, I have the choice to use the tools and change my thinking/attitude. Gratitude really helps me when I am troubled.
It's all about practice, practice, and then again - more practice! Thanks you all for your powerful shares. I am grateful that I love and value me enough today to preserve my serenity as best I can...
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
