The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The ODAT reading for March 12 addresses the subject that alcoholism is a disease. The reading goes on to explain that this disease is a compulsion and an obsession. It suggests that we too are subject to a compulsion which also compelles to try to save the alcoholic . No wonder the situation became impossible with me trying to move the the diseae of alcoholism over which I was powerless.
We must remind ourselves daily that we can save only ourselves and that it is vital to our well-being and that of our family to keep ourselves from going down the road of self-pity, resentment and despair. We cannot live another person's life no matter how much we love them. So when we devote ourselves to correct our own shortcomings and mistakes, we make it possible to be able to love others without manipulating and controlling them.
The prayer is; "I pray that I may learn it is not my function to direct or control another person however close to me. I will also cease to be a crutch. I can live nobody's life but my own."
Thank you, Betty, for your service. I am currently experiencing the compulsion to and obsession with saving my AF. His disease has brought him to a difficult place and I am often far down that road of self-pity, resentment, and despair. Especially despair. The insanity comes in when my resentment demands that I not act as his crutch, while my compulsion (and my anguish at seeing people in pain) draws me to want to rescue him. I wrestle with these things from moment to moment, but I also know, increasingly as the moments pass, that I can't live this situation (or his life) for him.
The meetings and reading are such a help and I am reminding myself constantly to give this over to God, because it is certainly not something I can manage. I pray for serenity, courage, and wisdom for all of us.
Thanks Betty,
it is so important to understand the compulsive and obsessive side of alcoholism. It really helps friends and family members deal with the disease.
Thank you Betty for your service and the daily....thanks to all above me for your ESH too! I am one who really needs to be reminded often that this is a disease, not a moral dilemma or a choice. And that applies to all sides/affected by the disease. I can get discouraged when I slip and/or when I begin to question the sanity of what's going on around me - yet, when I remember it's a disease that is powerful, cunning and baffling - I am then able to use our tools to process, deal and heal what is affecting me at that moment.
I am grateful to the program and for all of you that are on my journey!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Hi Betty, thank you for your service and for sharing today's daily. When I think of compulsion and obsessive behavior I am always reminded of someone saying trying to move an alcoholic is like standing behind a mule and trying to push him out of the mud. You either slide and land face first in the mud or get kicked in the teeth. Maybe learn to step to the side or better yet up front.
