The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading from Courage to Change discusses God's will vs. our will. The reading starts out by suggesting that when we feel our serenity slipping away while a war in waged within our minds, and loud voices are pushing one way or another - chances are good that we've gone into 'My Will Mode'.
While seeking a spiritual journey, doubt will happen. It's inevitable and with no instruction book, we must just continue exploring and challenging our own perceptions. When we feel a desperate urge to act, it's usually our will pushing forward. When we feel a calm certainty, that's usually God's will for us. There are many times where we do not have a clear delineation in our minds - then what?
Our program suggests we wait for clarity and/or try to listen more closely for guidance. This is when we might ask for wisdom from others or we might just make a choice with what we know. More will be revealed when the time is right - no matter what choice I make. Since we've turned our will and life over to the care of God, any choice we make can be used to carry out His will.
Today's reminder -- Today I will remember that uncertainty is not a fault but an opportunity. Everything I do and everything that crosses my path - people, situations, ideas - all have the potential to contribute to my growth and understanding. Just for today, I don't have to know what that contribution will be.
Thought for the day -- "There lives more faith in honest doubt, Believe me, than in half the creeds." ~~ Alfred, Lord Tennyson
This is such a great reading and my page is earmarked as I visit it often. BP (Before Program), I felt it was a sign of weakness to pause, process and have doubt. I was one who took in the facts as presented, added my ego and then made choices/decisions with extreme urgency ... even when the situation did not call for that.
I was one who ran wild with self-will - good intentions and trying to save the world (control), and it drove me to the brink of complete insanity. When I came to the program, and began practicing what was suggested, slowly it became clear to me that I had no control over anyone but myself. Not only did I have no control, I was not responsible in any way/shape/form for the actions, words, choices of others. My thinking was so distorted that I felt guilt, shame, remorse, etc. for things I not only had no control of - I had no insight or inclination for either.
The program has taught me to accept things as they are, and then determine what I, just me, can do to make the most of this moment. When I work to clear the clutter of my mind, and lean into this program, God's will does lead the way. Slowing me, my breathing, my thinking and my responses down to consider before action has helped me understand so much more about how to be a better version of me.
I love when I can lean into God, and treat everyone - qualifier or not, rude drivers, rude store clerks, etc. the same way - as a child of God with their own struggle. I love when I feel the presence of a power greater than me within - it truly is a calming, joyful experience.
Make it a great day all - off to the store and some cleaning/child-proofing here for the little guys visit! If I am slow to post the daily tomorrow, you'll know why - Grandma is still figuring out how to be productive with 2 under age of 4 tugging at her heart-strings.
(((Hugs))) to all!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you for this post IAH. I have many challenges heading my way and this is such an important reminder. My controlling nature has really come to light and I am excited to feel, for the first time in decades, a trust in letting things go and surrendering my will to something greater.
My will has lead me to very unrealistic and often dark places of fear and doubt.
Wonderful reading today..:
Thank you for your dedicated service.
Wow did this ESH ever hit home with me today, thank you IAH. I have been struggling with my will a lot this week. I had to help my 17 year old dog (my shadow ) to the Rainbow Bridge a month ago. Thoughts have been obsessive in my brain as I am impatient to fill the void and rase the pain of the loss. Since I am now a senior my RA asked me if I was well enough to care fore another animal and if it was fair to get one that might outlive us. My answer to him was a lot of pups in a shelter would love a warm home over a kennel. So tried that route and found a little girl dog, went through all the hoops to get on the meet and greet, visit went great and we made top 3 only to get edged out by a family that came in with another dog. I keep telling myself this was God's will then my impatience jumps back along with my stubborn will. Enjoy your grandchildren, the are a blessing.
Thank you Iamhere for your service, just the mention of god scared me when I first came to Al-Anon because in my old black and white thinking I was convinced my HP had left me long ago. Oh boy was I wrong. My HP is with me always and always has been and his will is obvious and clear. For me, the difference is my will seems forced, uncomfortable, chaotic, indecisive, too fast paced. While my HP's will is loving, logical, calm, nurturing, an aha moment. Through working the program I've learned I must slow down, be patient and leave "space" in my day and my mind free of chatter because my HP very often speaks through others and is the gentle serene voice in my head.
Hugs to you ((Stan1)), I'm sorry for your loss, you're in my prayers.
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- Carrie
Stress is caused by being 'here' but wanting to be 'there'. Eckhart Tolle
Thank you so much Bunny. Just for today I am keeping my hands busy and hopefully my mind might be quiet enough for me to Listen and Learn. Patience is not necessarily one of my strengths, always a work in progress :)
Dear IAH thank you so much for sharing your powerful experience, strength and hope on this important reading. I too have this page earmarked and refer to it often.. I know prior to program, I reacted instantly to situations and always thought that I was" very smart" and "thought quickly" and that's why I had an answer for everything. Enter Al-Anon and I was confronted with the fact that by "reacting" I was not processing and thinking instead I was giving other people power over my life. What an eye-opener that was
Learning to pause, use a slogan such as let go and let God and then attempt to listen to the small voice within has changed my attitudes and my life one hundred percent. I also know that I can make choices and change my mind and that is okay. I always thought that if I made a choice and decision that was written in stone. I could never change my mind. Thank goodness. Al-Anon and my HP is a gentle program and I can let go of my will and learn how to trust.
Love all the shares - bopped back before the 'invasion of the little people' and got exactly what I needed!
Stan1 - so sorry to hear of your loss.....brought me back to our last fur-baby that passed away while an emergency vet was headed to our home. I was so sad that I donated food, bowls, toys, bedding, snacks, leashes - you get it - to a nearby shelter/kennel thinking I couldn't have another and deal with another loss....
About 1.5 months later, I could not stand not having a daily companion that is so spiritual and unconditionally loves me! I too began to adoption process. I ended up (God thing) at an adoption happening at a local pet store that had an adult dog. I'd never looked at/considered an adult dog so just looked at her and went on to see the others. She watched me the whole time, sat patiently and respectfully and just watched. My son was with me and asked if he could take her on a leash. She was excellent on the leash and he sat down on a bench and she sat by him on the ground.
I had to walk through the entire place to find them, and there they were - just sitting there watching the world go by. My son suggested she was what we needed and we went with her. We did not know her age, it was estimated at 1.5 - 2.5 years. Nobody knew her real story but she had recently gone through obedience training at the local prison.
She has been the best dog EVER! I will never go back to puppy unless I absolutely have to. No night-time crying, no chewing, just a joy from day 1. She's a senior now - we've had her almost 10 years and starting to slow down. We walk instead of jog and she sleeps a ton but she's still my spiritual companion and we both are grateful for what we've been able to share...
bunny - I can so relate....I felt I was unworthy of God's love and grace based on how I'd walked away and was pleasantly surprised to learn that he knows us better than we do and is a forgiving power!
alf - I hear you - been to those dark places and remain hopeful with the power of the program that I can avoid returning!
Betty - I totally relate - fast reaction - like with like, smarter than others - always quick to share too - urgh....I am so completely different than I used to be!!
(((Hugs))) to all - excited for the invasion of the little people this evening - enjoy your rest of day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
