The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
We're all here because our physical, emotional and spiritual well being has been affected by the alcoholism of someone close to us and by working the program we will find serenity and sanity...For me, I have found serenity and sanity, I know this because I'm in a peaceful state and I'm living in reality. Before the program I would have never, ever used the words "peaceful state" and "living in reality" in the same sentence. Now, serenity and sanity is a simple wonderful way of life for me. I would like to know others experience and thoughts on this?
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- Carrie
Stress is caused by being 'here' but wanting to be 'there'. Eckhart Tolle
LOL .. I'm working on both however serenity and sanity in the same sentence is still a stretch for me .. what I do have is a far more better grasp on what healthy is and is not. I would not have known sanity in terms of no you don't have to react to every situation over the top. It has always been all or nothing. Which goes with the addict thinking there is nothing half way. A friend of mine was recently dealing with a situation that they managed to jump without thinking in response to someone else's craziness and in talking to them about it I asked them .. ok .. so why did you feel the need to respond instantaneously? Their response was out of being seen as the "bad" one. I think that serenity for me comes from not having to immediately react .. I can take time to respond and I can respond in a way that works for me .. now .. the other person may not like my response .. so not my issue. I am much more comfortable saying .. umm .. no .. I'm not ok with that. Without program I know I would still be caught in the rat trap of I have to have an answer now and I have to have an answer for everything. Both I know now to be untrue statements .. sometimes it just is what it is and nothing more than that.
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
I too am working on both, I have more moments of Serenity mow than I have in the recent past, but there are still many days that I struggle with it. Reality can be tough too, but right now for me Serenity is the hardest.
Reading this post right now was very timely, I am having a bit of a hard time with serenity, but this has reminded me that I have tools to help me find it. The program has given me the tools, I just have to remember to use them. "Progress not perfection" But thanks to Al-anon and the good folks here I am making progress.
My qualifier gets out of a 90 day program in 2 weeks, unless she decides to stay longer, and that will be a big test of whether I can shed my fears. I know I have some personal challenges ahead and I will be counting on others to help me through.
A lot of people talk about the merry-go-round of denial. It does not fit to everything that use to go on in my life but it explains a lot about living with alcoholism. If you can get off of that merry-go-round it brings a lot of sanity and serenity. It is hard to let go knowing someone might fail, but the alternative can be so much harder.
For me, sanity is just the clearness of mind, ability to think and ask for help when I need it. Love that our program gives the gift of fellowship and sponsorship - both of these really, really help when I am questioning my sanity and beyond the disease, I believe that isolation truly fed my insanity...
Serenity is a focused calm mind. No matter how much I wanted and tried, I could not still my mind before recovery. It was darting, over-processing, projecting, etc. I am much more able now to calm my mind and just be present even if there are disease or other distractions.
I can have one or both or none. Working the program, stepping back to basics....sometimes Step 1 truly helps me align with both of these as my intended outcome. I am so grateful the program gives us so many tools to find our sanity and peace. How cool is it that joy is often in that mix of results?
Great topic Carrie - I do believe that simple works well for me!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
