The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So this past week my stepson's half brother who is an addict and a friend of my AS, overdosed on Xanax and Fantanyl. After a huge scare of organ failure and heart damage he was sent to a hospital that specializes in heart issues. His organs were not failing but his heart did have damage to it. He was released yesterday and my Step sons are trying desperately to get him into rehab. Their AB is willing. I am hoping this is a huge wake up call for my son. They have been seeing each other frequently and there is some form of proof that he was selling to my son. I want to ring my son's neck. I am so angry; mind you this is the anger I thought I would never have. I don't even want to talk to my son until I know what was going on between them and then and only then will I call him out. I am sick and tired of all the lies, deceit, manipulating. I have been afraid to loose contact with my AS but I'm to the point where I can't take it anymore. He started a new job yesterday and I don't even want to know how it is going. It will only last about 2 weeks anyway. He doesn't have a car so his dad is driving him to work and my dad is picking him up. I told both of them that I am not helping out. Yes, I feel like I am being the worst mom in the world but my world isn't going to stop for someone who has thrown 3 years of his life away. Will this be a wake up call? So far it hasn't been. Beth
(((Beth))) - sending you tons of prayers and positive thoughts. I'm with Betty - there are limits to the insanity we can endure...I also believe that moving from sadness to anger is a good thing - that for me was when I knew for sure that I would be OK in recovery so long as I kept turning my qualifier(s) over.
Keep doing what you are doing - it looks good on you!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
(Beth) I started to turn the corner when I began to withdraw myself from any outcomes involving my daughter. I to just could not take any more and went from sadness to anger which for me was necessary as I had been accepting some pretty horrific unacceptable behaviour while trying to "help". I certainly did not give up on her ever but my attachment to her outcomes changed and I stayed out of it. I remember job loss after job loss for her and driving her around and around to new jobs in hopes that the next one would stick. I even quit my own job so that I could devote myself full time to managing her crazy life and I was a wreck. She found her way into recovery about a year ago. It has been bumpy but both of us have grown tremendously. Hang in there, there is hope.
