The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading is a reminder about the strength of the program in helping us change our own attitudes. We have no power or control over whether people in our lives are drinking or not. For that matter, we have no control over anything other people do or say.... the reading today is a reminder that what we do have control over is our own lives, our attitudes, our perceptions, what we put forth and how we are feeling within.
I have to admit it has perplexed me to think that I could 'find happiness whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not'. I think what I have come to realize is that I can find happiness regardless of whatever anyone else is doing or not! I never thought of myself as dependent on others, until I finally admitted that I was dependent on others' feelings and behaviors to instruct how I was feeling!
I will go forward today considering the Thoight for the Day from today's page: 'Changed attitudes do aid recovery.'
Great shaee Mary Love your insights and can so identify. I too viewed myself as independent and self sufficient until I looked deep enough, examiing my motives and found, as you pointed out that I "needed others approval and appreciation in order to feel good.
Working with my sponsor, sharing at meetings, making gratitude and asset lists. I finally developed enough self esteem, self awareness and and self worth to be able to validate myself to others and to myself . This allowed me to appreciate my efforts nd life and be happy.
Using alanon tools such as the slogans ,the steps and traditions helped to witness the change in myattiudes of which I am so grateful.
Thanks Yanks, great page, great concept, thank you both for your share. This was a life changing concept when I first came to AlAnon, and one I have been revisiting lately.
I have been considering the balance between finding serenity regardless, and making decisions to change circumstances. Before recovery, I made changes as a first choice when I felt discontent, now I look to change myself first...but to where is a healthy boundary for change and adjustment, after which it might be best to make a change externally...
While I wrestle with that, I know there is no limit to the changes I can make within myself to take more control over my happiness and serenity, regardless of what/where/who is around me. So grateful for this reminder
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Thank you Mary for the daily and your service. Thank you Betty and Mary for your ESH. I love the simple yet powerful thought for the day - "Changed attitudes do aid recovery." I see it, feel it and experience it most days when I consider my recovery as the most important element of my journey.
I recall before recovery that many times, I (my will) considered my day, and vowed to not loose my temper or yell or ....... just for today. My will and my wish was usually shattered before school started. I had to start at Step One and progress through this journey committing as best I could each day along the route.
Today, as I wake up, and consider my day - it's no longer about what I can/will/won't do. It is about being grateful for my life, owning my humanism and allowing my HP, God, to lead me where I should go. I'm grateful that the program and HP have helped me change my attitude and that I actually look forward to what the day may bring instead of dreading what will come next.
Happy Tuesday to one and all - we had some wild, wicked weather last night in our area - prayers to all in the path of the storms for today/tonight. Make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
What a great reminder for me today! I've recently found myself in a hamster wheel of thought. First, I cannot control what my AW does, so I will remove expectations and leave her actions to herself. Second, I will do my best to take care of the housekeeping and not expect her help. Third, she comments negatively on what I am doing. Forth, I fume, and wish I could get her to stop trying to control how I clean the house. I strategize about how to get her to stop commenting on how I am doing things. Fifth, I realize that I am trying to control her trying to control my housekeeping, and laugh at myself. Now that I have returned to the beginning of the hamster wheel, the process can start again.
The only things in the cycle that I can control are my actions and reactions, and trying to control how she responds toward me is not going to lead me to greater happiness. I've had plenty of cause to use the Alanon tools to get off my hamster wheel. With more practice, I may even be able to avoid getting on that wheel to start with!
Have a lovely day everyone.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
