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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Courage to Change (C2C) 3/3/17
Post Info TOPIC: Courage to Change (C2C) 3/3/17
Iamhere


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Courage to Change (C2C) 3/3/17
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Today's reading is about Step 4 - a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.  Most of us find, as the writer did, that much of our behavior was extremely immature.  This then begs the question - what is mature behavior?  The answer is different for each of us, but exploring the question can help identify goals for growth and how best to apply the program as we seek to change behavior.

The daily reading has a great list of items that might be considered maturity ----

Knowing myself.

Asking for help when I need it and acting on my own when I don't.

Admitting when I'm wrong and making amends.

Accepting love from others, even if I'm having a tough time loving myself.

Recognizing that I always have choices, and taking responsibility for the ones I make.

Seeing that life is a blessing.

Having an opinion without insisting that others share it.

Forgiving myself and others.

Recognizing my shortcomings and my strengths.

Having the courage to live one day at  a time.

Acknowledging that my needs are my responsibility.

Caring for people without having to take care of them.

Accepting that I'll never be finished - - I'll always be a work-in-progress.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is a great list to consider and one I've referred to often.  For me, I got some relief in attending meetings as I came to understand I was not alone.  However, the relief was limited until I found the strength and courage to work the steps, which are designed to help us be the best version of us at the moment.

I was a huge reactor when I arrived. If one came at me with anger or blame, I responded in kind.  If one came at me with kindness and acceptance, I responded in kind.  Today, I use PAUSE often and take a bit of time to consider my response.  I am trying to be an authentic consistent 'me' instead of one who reacts based on the emotion thrown my way. 

I love that we are reminded that it's a life-long process and perfection is over-rated.  Instead, we do one day at a time, one next right thing at a time and it seems to add up to better days, more joy and serenity!  That's a much better way for me to live vs. trying to be perfect and then perpetually disappointed in me and others because perfection was not obtained.

Happy Friday to one and all - sorry for the late daily - I've got 2 little ones this morning who want grandma lap time and play time!  Still adjusting to my latest normal....(((hugs)))



__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
hotrod


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Hi IAH Thanks for posting this important message I do love the complete outline on maturity and know that when i entered program (as I thought a mature women) I did not exhibit any of these assets in my daily interactions with thr world.
Alanon states that changed attitudes aid recovery.My attitudes needed a complete over hauling as they had been were formed as a child in an alcoholic home. I did not concentrate on changing my attitudes as as I did not have a clue how to change but by working the Steps. attending meetings, using the slogans, slowly my awareness deepened and I could see what I was doing to injure myself and then my attitudes changed . I do believe now at my ripe old age I have become MATURE. aww
Thanks for your continued service. Have a great day.



-- Edited by Iamhere on Sunday 31st of January 2021 01:04:15 PM

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
Iamhere


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Thanks Betty for your ESH! I hope you have a great day too.....

I just recalled that at many times in the middle of chaos and/or uncertainty - I have actually stopped and asked myself, "What would a mature sane person do/say/act like in this specific moment?" That simple question has saved me many times! (((Hugs)))

__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Courage to Change (C2C) 3/3/17