The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading is about step one. The writer mentions how incongruous it seems to admit powerlessness over alcohol since at a certain time in her life, her qualifier had found sobriety and she no longer lived with him! For me the message for today is summarozed with the 'thought for the day: 'Alcoholism doesn't have to be active in my life for me to be affected by it.' The effects of this disease are profound and long reaching. The best way I have found to deal with them in my own life is by working the program and working on step one. When I consider step one, especially now that I am no longer living with an active a, I just think of 'admitting I am powerless'. I am powerless over many many things, it just took my ego a while to catch on to that idea.
Something else I take from this reading is compassion. If we can admit our powerlessness, we can understand that others, certainly alcoholics, are powerless as well. It'a helpful for me to remember that we all are active in recovery- for life. That doesn't go away because our qualifiers no longer live with us or have found sobriety.
Good Morniing Mary I was amazed to discover that he effects of living with the disease o alcoholism are long lasting and if not addressed life long. When I review my defects I can trace them back to childhood and see how I formulated them as a way of responding to the insanity around me. They appeared to work at the time. Today as a grown up I can see how e destructive they are.fMaking my needs invisible, denying reality, pretending all was well were a few of my tools.
Slowly working this program, beginning with Step one is the key . Yes it it strange to have to admit powerlessness over this dreadful disease, that appears to be hurting us, however once I was able to do so, I was set free of the deep down anger, resentment, and my denial and did find the compassion for the world and myself of which you speak.
I return to step one frequently. As a professional over-committer, I excel at taking responsibility for things that are not mine to worry about. Remembering that I am powerless over alcoholism, other people, etc. is a powerful piece of my program, and one that I find reason to practice multiple times a day.
Have a lovely Tuesday, everyone!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Thank you Mary! Alcoholism not Wasism. We have it. We can debate the origins- genetic, family upbringing, environment or a maybe a combination of all of these. But, recovery starts with Step 1. Admitting that we are powerless of Alcoholism and our lifes have become unmanageable. Step 1 could also be written that we are powerless of Others and our lifes have become unmanageable. When I try to exert power(control) where I have none, my life becomes unmanageable. Yesterday, today or tomorrow. A daily reprieve based on the maintenance of my Spiritual condition. Thanks for posting.
Thanks for the daily Mary and your service. Thanks to all for the shares & ESH above me! For me, visiting Steps 1-2-3 each morning reminds me of what we've heard in recovery - I Can't, He Can, I think I'll Let Him. I also visit/revisit step one at times during the day. I remember clearly how often I tried to control, fix, cure, change all that was around me and that is not far from my surface. When I can remember that I am not alone, one with more power than I has the master plan AND all I need to do is the next right thing, I'm better able to manage what comes my way!
So true Mike B - ism vs. wasm. Easy reminder - thanks for that!
Make it a great day all and happy Fat Tuesday!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
One of my hopes in life was to get to a place of safety- where i felt safe inside. There is a saying- you can take the kid out of the family, but y'all caint take the family out of the kid.
By applying step one, over time, we can take the kid out of the family. I had my own family, and they now have their own...
...on Sunday i spent time with one daughter who is having difficulties with anxiety. She feels that I am the main reason she is anxious.The saving grace for me was that i had gone along to Alanon, very early in the piece, and tried to change the course of my life- to halt the generational cycle.
This was a good start- but there had to be outcomes. 8 or ten years ago i would sit at a meeting while a daily reading was being read- and it seemed to go in one ear and out the other. I was still emotionally numb- and badly so. Today i can follow a reading and actively engage with the discussion.
If I had accumulated layer upon layer of defences- at a time in my life when i was the most defenceless- then since then, slowly at first i had been able to strip these away, layer by layer. Getting into a place of safely; getting into a place where i could make myself understood, was a saving grace.
I am available to my family, in a way my A. was never able to. Coming back through the process I am aware what my A. was up against. Sometimes, myself i have felt change to be impossible- but then a change happens... and then another change...
Aloha Miss Pearl...I use to have many night as you describe and many of them because I was living with the effects of the disease of alcoholism and drug addiction. There were other stresses too that reduced my peace of mind and serenity however as I got a handle on the program and came to understand more and practice what I came to understand there wasn't much after a while that could unsettle my peace of mind and serenity. I learned how with the 2nd step to make contact and maintain contact with my higher power and abandoning my attempts to control outcomes I could then and still can surrender my will over for my Higher Power's will.
Focus, meditate and pray with faith and confidence and see how that comes out for you. Keeping you in mind as I end my day. (((((hugs)))))
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