The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
so my father was an alcoholic for all my childhood up until around 17 he stopped. All I can remember is sitting at home waiting for him to come in the door and smell the horrible smell of alcohol on him. He would then procede to start a fight or something of that nature. I just can't get any of it out of my head and I'm 21 now. Whenever it comes up all I can do is cry. Whenever I even think about it I cry. I don't know how but I need this to stop and move on. He is currently a recovering alcoholic but those memories just stay with me. Don't know if anyone also feels this way but just looking for some advise.
M243567 - welcome to MIP. So glad that you found us and glad you reached out. Alcoholism is a dreadful disease and is called a family disease because it does reach well beyond the drinker and affect those who love them or live with them. My best suggestion is that you seek out local Al-Anon meetings and see if you can find the support, help and hope I did.
Keep coming back here too - you are not alone!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Al-Anon is a great place to cry and grieve and feel all of the feelings many of us have held in for years. For me it was the first safe environment where I could allow others to see me cry. Tears are very healing, especially when we let someone else bear witness to our pain. You will get better, heal and be able to move on in your life with the support of others. Good luck.
Welcome m243567 as you can see you are not alone. I too would like to suggest that you search out alanon or acoa meetings and attend. Alcoholism is a chronic, dreadful disease that not only hurts the person who drinks but the entire family That is why Alanon and ACOA were founded.
You will find many in al-anon are ACOH (adult children of alcoholics). I would suggest face to face meetings where you can relate to ESH being shared. My father was also an A and I only wish I had to wisdom to seek out face to face meetings early on. My brother to this day still struggles with the effect of growing up in an alcoholic household and has a lot of anger towards my parents. I have memories but they have faded or my therapist thinks that I have blocked them from memory. Hopefully through the program you will find ways to move on and find peace.
Aloha and welcome to the family...I am glad you are here and had the courage to share that on-going deep pain. Alcoholism affects everyone and thing it comes into contact with and for me you post reveals the power of it. Thanks for the courage and honesty. I hope and pray you find face to face groups in Al-Anon. your sign in doesn't reveal much about you and where you live and the Al-Anon.Org site can help you find groups around the world. In the meantime keep coming back here to read everything you can click up. We are family here. Hope and prayers on your Dad's recovery...good for him. ((((Hugs)))) You could ask him to take you to some of his meetings if you have that courage so you can come to understand this mind and mood altering fatal disease.
