The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's page encourages us to put the focus on ourselves as we give thought to what we share at meetings, particularly when there are newcomers. Do we share our Experience, Strength, and Hope? Will the new arrivals who are desperate, lonely and seeking answers feel they have landed in the right place?
Meetings are not just a place to vent our woes; in the spirit of Tradition Five, we aim to welcome and give comfort to families of alcoholics. Meetings are a great place to practice our awareness of what we say and how our words can impact those around us.
Today's Reminder: As an interchange, AlAnon works best when we give, for we get even more in return. This awareness and practice can only help us at home.
"The mouth of the just bringeth forth wisdom; the lips of the righteous know what is acceptable." - Proverb **************** This page was helpful for me as I analyzed the effort I put in at home versus the greater awareness and care I seem to manage while at meetings. It is a needed reminder for me that it is not my goal at either place to give running narrative of what I perceive to be my qualifier's shortcomings, but to demonstrate respect as I guard my serenity.
What I say, how I say it has an impact at meetings and at home. Keeping the focus on me and working hard to keep my comments positive helps those around me, and helps me focus on maintaining my serenity, not on what I allow to take it away. When I practice the principles of AlAnon, everybody wins
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Thanks for sharing that Paul, it is a good thing to keep in mind. I do feel that I learn a lot from the other members sharing something they have learned in their journey in Alanon.
Great reminder Paul, thank you. I can understand new people attending their first few meetings and needing to share their pain in order to connect. As the reading points out, experienced members sharing their experience strength and hope is an extremely powerful response to the newcomer in pain. It is important that that a new person be able to receive hope and understanding through the honest sharesof more experienced members.
The reason why a sponsor is so important, is that we all need, to talk about the pain and difficulties that we have, however meetings are really intended for us to to share our growth and our strength and our tools. A sponsor is some one who knows us well and can certainly listen and direct us when we are in crisis.
Ilove to attend slogan, tradiition or step meetings because this is where I have learned the most and see how the program works.
Thank you Paul for the daily and your service. Thanks to all above me for your ESH. I recall my first meeting, and the warm welcome + sharing of ESH is exactly what gave me a small amount of peace if only for the hour I was with those in the meeting. It also gave me just enough hope to come back - so very grateful.
I try hard to pass along what I can so others feel welcome, support and the same - hope. I was taught early on to speak from the heart and to not work too hard to filter my message as this keeps me from 'my truth'. When I am down, I go there. When I am serene, I recall why as best I can. All I know is that the honest sharing of ESH is what keeps me coming and I get tons from the newcomers - they remind me where I started.
I too attribute much of my progress to the steps + sponsor. Meetings brought me hope but the sponsor relationship and the steps are what brought me serenity. (((Hugs))) to all - hope all had a great Wednesday! Paul - safe travels if you're not home yet --- if you are home, welcome back to the land of early spring!! (short lived, but I'll take it.)
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you shrnp, hotrod and IAH for your shares, you each bring out good points.
Shrnp, I agree, I learn so much from the ESH of others and how I can use the tools of the program.
Hotrod, the value of a sponsor for very personal issues and sharing/venting was something that was stressed to me early as well. Having a trusted sponsor and/or program friend ensures that we have a safe outlet to process things that may take more time than a 3-minute meeting share. This helps us and those at the meetings. I too, like the focus of the step meetings.
I got back Monday night, IAH, wow, hello spring! I had to leave the cold, rainy west coast to find 75-80 degrees and sunshine. I'll take it! Did you spend some time on the diamond? Whatever you did, it had to feel amazing.
I appreciate the need for honesty in our contributions, and reading back over my post, I did not mean to suggest that we must paint an artificially rosy picture to others, preserving an aura that the program and our recovery is the holy land. You make a great point about honesty and 'keeping it real' about where we are, what we are working on, and how the program is helping us do that.
As often is the case, balance is helpful. As a newcomer, I recall forming many impressions based upon my first few meetings, and am grateful for the strong model I witnessed that combined incredible honesty with a distinct focus on recovery. So grateful for the program!
The past few days were amazing, but we are still in February, a bit more cold is inevitable...but we are getting there! Have a great day
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Glad you got home safe and sound Paul - how unusual that you came 'from the west' for improved weather! I'll take it anytime, any way, any day!!! I opted out of softball over the weekend - truly want to play a few league games before I spend a whole day on the fields. I'm getting old to reverse that order and got to spend time instead with fellowship and the grand-babies. Truly feel grateful that each day is a blessing when I just stay present...
(((Hugs))) - loving the February spring/summer we are experiencing - ending tomorrrow...*sigh*
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
