The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading is about coming to terms with past experiences without getting stuck there. It's about reconciling things that have happened in order to move forward. In the second half of the reading, there is a mention of how while facing the feelings didn't change things that had happened, it did change the emotional climate. I really appreciate this sentence: 'Because my good memories didn't have to compete so hard with the bad ones, they began to unfold in my consciousness.' I know I sometimes have found myself getting stuck with things that happened many years ago. This reading is helping me to see there is a way to acknowledge painful events from the past without getting mired in them.
The quotation at the end of the reading is such a powerful one I will write all of it here (From Survival to Recovery, p 68):
'Denial is broken when we quit hoping for a better past, accept the reality of that past, and set about creating a different present.'
today I can't do anything about hurtful things that happened in my past; I am grateful to be on a different stretch of road though! I'm also hopeful about where this new piece of road is taking me.
Good Morning Mary Great message and an important tool to use in order to view th past and learn the lessons from the experiences back there. I was amaxed at how the pain from buried past events lifted when i acknowledged it, accepted the events that happened, my responses to it and had the courage to share honestly about it with another I could then unearth the lessons that were there for me to absorb and move forward. Thanks HP for this fantastic program. Thanks Mary for your service and have a lovely day .
Thanks Mary for the daily and your service. Thanks to you and Betty both for your ESH today. Your shared reminded me of a recent conversation I had with a cousin of mine. Long story short, his mother (my favorite aunt) passed last year in January and he had been estranged from his parents and sisters for a long, long while - 30 years. He does have a history of alcohol abuse (I don't label folks) and I never knew what caused this estrangement and chose to never ask....instead, I spent tons of time with my Aunt and we talked about forgiveness, trudging forward through difficult times, etc.
He did arrive after she was comatose but before she died. He therefore got to talk with her, yet she was not able to respond. As we often wonder, it did affect him and he had regrets. His two sisters (my cousins) flip/flop on accepting him, being angry, etc. It was an awkward time but we all got through it. After he left town, I kept in contact and he did share that he regrets walking away and doesn't know how to fix it or if it's possible.
Because of our program, I was able to listen actively and ask God to help me help him if that was his plan for me. When there was silence, my mouth opened and I said, You have the power to affect a change. Do not let your past define your present or your future.
That was all the words I had and I can guarantee I'd never thought it before, said it before and even considered it before. It was God's words delivered through my lips that were simply delivered and received by another imperfect child of God. I have thought about that exchange and those words often since as I believe in that moment, God was speaking to us both. I (like him) was the black sheep of my immediate family. I (like him) walked away from the family unit and was shunned if I saw any of them in public. I was asked to not attend any extended family events - was clearly told I was disowned and no longer welcome.
My sabbatical (as we now refer to it) was 3.x years. His was way longer for sure. But, anything is possible if we lean into our spiritual journey. What a great reading!
Happy Tuesday to one and all - make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
