The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well, I am working on the Third Step BIG TIME right now as my Alcoholic father just died of liver disease but he made it to 86! We did not have any closure but there were some good moments with us after a long time of no contact. I am asking HP to heal my heart and his heart even in the spirit world. My ex husband who is also an addict/not alcoholic basically lost his license to practice medicine and he cannot pay child support anymore and he is looking for work. he was very supportive of me in hard time so i have great COMPASSION but I am starting to get CONTROLLING and starting to obsess about him finding work! I am very stressed and worry that he will get sick as he is older and has heart disease but this is between him and his HIGHER POWER. I cannot control any outcome. I have had so much trauma and loss in the last 3 years and I must work my program and ask HP to "restore me to sanity". I find that I can spend hours "thinking" of how and where he can get work and not keeping the focus on myself. and I end up feeling "selfish" if I detach from his life. (we are still friends and co parent together). I have found a way to make a living, small but can pay bills for my son and myself without help from him thanks to HP.
I just have VERY little joy and SERENITY and need to LET GO AND LET GOD! This is a very tough passage to lose a parent and a marriage in one year and I must be kind to myself and patient.
So many of us have had losses and only HP can get us through. I want to feel hope and get back into my own life but feel overwhelmed and obsessive. I am saying the serenity prayer over and over and also the "let go and let god" slogan.
I do use the phone bridge but need more Al Anon support and fellowship. The meeting here have gossip and cross talk so I do not attend.
I am GRATEFUL for these boards. Thank you !!! Sarah
Wow!! great post ((((Sarah)))) and thanks for sharing how you work it with us. No life didn't show up as the fantasy land we once may have hoped for and you grabbed the Merry-go-round ring as it came by. I didn't know or find joy for such a long time and was fulltime depressive until I started handing around the fellowship who had found it and were willing to show me how they did it. When I came to accept that life was just the way it was supposed to be and could be/would be wildly better as I continued to practice acceptance I learned how to live in it. Feel your Higher Powers hugs and smile because you're serene and sane. Keep coming back (((((hugs)))))
(((Sarah))) - great share - so very sorry for the loss of your father - sending you healing prayers and thoughts and to him also in the spirit world. I truly applaud your awareness and willingness to lean into your program. When things are swirling around me, it is the place where I am most likely to find my calm/center.
Keep working it and one more 'fast' slogan to add perhaps is my all-time favorite - Bless Them, Change Me! I consider it the shortened version of the serenity prayer.
(((Hugs))) to you as you process - agree that being gentle is a great step!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you for the share. I have had an alcoholic father and boyfriend. The Alanon program had really helped me to concentrate on my own recovery and search out my higher power.
