The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The ODA T reading for February 12 asks the question what happens when the ideas that we receive at an Al-Anon meeting seem to roll off our consciousness and asks why are we not demonstrate these ideas in or every day actions? Why cant we absorb them and make them work for us.?
The reading suggests that an important slogans is a single word--"THINK" and asks how can we use this slogan? . it suggests that possibly the reason for this is that we are doing all the talking and not listening. We can benefit from the Slogans and Steps only if we take time to reflect on them, as well as on another' share. If we take the time to THINK about them. We need to learn to keep silent, and think about what we are hearing instead of compulsively talking and not listening . This is indeed a defect.
The reading points out that we should construct our share of the conversation thoughtfully remembering its purpose is to help someone else as well to help me to think . We must listen to others and extract helpful enlightening ideas from what they say as well.
. The prayer is I pray to acquire the habit of listening, confining my own talk to what might be of help to others. Teach me the use of silence
I have learned to pause, not react, and to respond since attending alanon meetings. Thank you alanon
Thank you Betty for this reading,
To think and pause before I act or do anything ,takes practice,
It is a golden rule to me today......love it,,,also ,it is a huge relief to know this.......hugs lu
Thanks for the daily Betty and your service + ESH! Thanks also LU for being a part of this topic and my journey.
I am still a work in progress for listening but have certainly gotten better at it. I believe my FOO contributed to my 'defensive stance' of preparing my response while another is still stating their peace and that right there blocks my ability to listen actively. I find myself doing this some times, and have been working to refocus on the person speaking. Pausing has been a great relief/tool for me in working the program and responding with my truth - I used to respond either giving an answer expected or one contrary. I rarely listened well enough to respond with my own truth.
I also had the distorted idea that everyone had a hidden agenda and I needed to decode their words to understand their true intent. I've since learned in recovery that listening to the words is what's important and all that requires a response. I don't have to assume anything, search for 'more' and keeping it simple by thinking about the message and my truth has given me more genuine relationships.
Make it a great Sunday all - (((Hugs))) and Joy to everyone!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
