The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading notes the surprise that meets many of us newcomers when we find smiling, cheerful members at our face to face meetings. How is this possible with the dreadful effects of living with the disease?
We find out by attending meetings regularly, reading, and listening to the Experience, Strength and Hope of fellow members who have found serenity, some whom are in situations even more challenging than ours.
Today's Reminder - The value of the program comes to us when we absorb the wisdom of how it has worked for others, rather than using it just as an opportunity to vent about the negative behavior of another person.
"I pray to be led into a new way of thinking about the difficulties I have to face. A new point of view will put them into perspective and reduce them to manageable size. I pray especially to resist exaggerating my troubles until they overwhelm me." - Member
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When I was learning to drive in the snow, my Dad said, "If you keep looking at the tree on the side of the road and thinking 'don't hit the tree, don't hit the tree', you're going to hit the tree. Look where you want the car to go."
In AlAnon, the guidance is to keep the focus on myself for similar reasons. The more I focus, worry, obsess on the actions of someone else who I have no control over, the more likely I am to hit and remain stuck in that negative space.
When I find myself feeling negative, or am unhappy with my interaction with another, I can usually trace it back to looking at the tree: focusing on trying to change something I can't, rather than at the things I can: my focus, perspective, and behavior.
I am grateful for the wisdom of the program and others before me that help keep me on the road to recovery and serenity
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
I love it too. You should write your own daily reader lol.
Funny, it's more or less what my driving instructor said to me when I was learning to drive a couple of years ago and at the time I thought, this has real life applications. Great reminder
Thank you Paul I too appreciate your thoughtful message Changed attitudes do aid recovery and I am so pleased that alanon not only helped me to identify the attitudes that I had that were faulty, but also provided the tools to help me to grow and change.
Thanks Paul for the daily, your service and your ESH! Your tree story reminded me of a golf outing last year with my sponsor.....there were two 'hazards' (places where they had corded off for sprinkling system repairs) close together. I get up to drive the ball, and said - Look at those....that's probably where my drive will go!!! Of course, they were right of the fairway, off the beaten path and sure enough - I hit the ball and it landed right between the two...
We did get a huge chuckle out of that, and joked the rest of the day that my 'mind over matter move' should be helping my game - not hindering it! I'm grateful Al-Anon gives us a plan to think and live differently. My best thoughts and actions got me into a miserable state of existence - the program has given me a hopeful enjoyable life.
Things rarely go as desired, and today - I can accept that. I can keep leaning into the program and HP and try to do the next right thing. Focusing on me vs. those I love has truly given me a changed outlook - what a gift!
Happy Wednesday to one and all!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
