The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
As an acoa and alanon living and growing up with alcholics, the craziness was always there. The confusion, the lies, the decet, the controlling.
Today, I am having a really hard time. Some of you have heard about my issues with my crazy neighbors and civic association. We have built a carport which in our opinion does not violate any deed restrictions. We have 23 other carports in our neighborhood which do violate. We have gotten threatening letters and been harrassed by the neighbors and civic association to the point that we hired an attorney to write them a letter telling them they have no jurisdiction and to stop harrassing us.
We got a letter back from an attorney the civic assoc hired that made absolutely no sense. We have now talked to our attorney who has talked to their attorney. Their attorney was not aware that we had hired an attorney and was not given the letter our attorney sent. In short, they have told their attorney several lies. Their attorney believes there are some real problems with their story and is going to be back to our attorney.
This whole situation really triggers me. First of all all the untruths, all the lies, the harrassment, now I am scratching my head thinking, OMG these people are so sick.
I am having a very hard time detaching, I am leaving this totally up to my attorney but really feeling like I lost my serenity. Anyone have any ES&H?
This whole situation really triggers me. First of all all the untruths, all the lies, the harrassment, now I am scratching my head thinking, OMG these people are so sick.
you know what, my friend, i just thought of something......do u think this is your ic reacting to this as a trigger/ memory of your mother???? how about this??? telling/ comforting your inner child that "this is NOT mom, this is just some crazy and we got a lawyer, and i am an adult now and can PROTECT and take CARE of you"
this just flashed in my head--- how about some self talk to your inner child.....i mean like "little robin, it is OK, i understand why u are upset, cuz of the bad memories, this brings up, but i am HERE for U and i am gonna protect U, and i love U, and U R safe".......
just a flash....hope it gave u some comfort/ esh to work with................hugs/ rosie
It seems to me you are geeting some REAL GOOD insight. And I really hate to say that . I have been doing recovery for 21 yrs. When I first started I believed EVERYONE was healthier than me. I didn't believe I knew the RIGHT definition of any word beings I thought my family was the only one who designed a new english language (dysfuntional version) dictionary. I set out to re-learn everything. I couldn't talk beings nothing I said matched up with anything anybody called SENSE. So I decided to enroll in college (communications, drug abuse, criminal justice, sociology, psych, etc) so I could learn what the so-called NORMAL person that was better than me knew. I also went to alot of 12step f2f groups to learn to make a transition from that angle(emotional) too (i had already done 1.5yrs therapy and got burned). I was in good shape intellectually(except english-d's and f's). I survived by developing what I thought was sanity. I used the revised d53's version of the dictionary. The more research I did the more dictionaries I found, and that the versions are endless. Almost as many as are people. When I talked to the director of psych dept at college about what I thought about what I had been learning and the paper you buy called a degree after you go thru enough, guess what he told me.......'After you graduate trash can what you learned and make-up your own theory' So I get hurt by some boys at college (1990) and couldn't get medical there so I moved to Tx and went to medical there and they never could diagnose the injuries to stop the pain and til today I have been to numerous medical exams and no FIX . Last yr got closer to a diagnosis than ever. 7yrs ago I had 2 wk related injuries and did I get FIXED. The lawyers made alot, I got screwed,and I'm still trying to find medical to stop the pain. It seems EVERYTHING needs FIXED. There are so many ways to do therapy if you do them all you get insanity. When we grew up we got insanity. The world we live in is INSANITY. There is NO DREAM world that there is NORMAL anywhere. Everyone that sends me a bill has people getting paid that are supposed to get things right yet I spend half my day most wks on hold trying to get them to FIX their mistakes, and for no pay. Their time is worth money, no mind how they make it. Then we are supposed to live a healthy life WHEN we RECOVER. We are learning how to unlearn what we learned as a kid so we can learn how to live with an A that doesn't know how to live anyway, and that won't work if you aren't with an A cause you learn something else for that.
The thing is we build a miniature world in whatever environment we live in. There is dysfunction EVERYWHERE. No matter which side the fence you are on. There is more INSANITY just trying to sort that out. Sometimes I get back into the FOG that 'its only ME and if I RECOVER it wouldn't be this way' and that is INSANITY too.
YOU ARE DOING WHAT YOU NEED TO DO EVERYBODY IS SICK IN SOME WAY
While I'm RECOVERING learning about how much INSANITY there really is I am learning to write now in ways I was never able to b4. Now i can talk and write. I used to be so paranoid b4 the 80's I was in a shell. Now I know we all have one. They just are different.
I tell myself when times are rough, "this to shall pass!!!" Ask HP for guidance, if the door is open, and I know how to look, I will become aware! I also visit http://www.inspiringthots.net/ . Blessings , Your sister in Recovery
Haven't been where you are. Sounds intense. Advice given to me is if you can't get out of it, get in it. Meaning face it head on and see it through to the other side. And this is not about who you are but who they are.
