The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I don't know if this is an al-anom related post but it's where my head is right now. As some of you know, I'm involved in a community outreach up here, it's something we took upon ourselves to do a few years back and it occupies a lot of our time. One of the main things we do is knit warm clothing for people less fortunate than ourselves. Well, being a man I wasn't much interested in knitting. That sort of thing is something my grandma used to do. So I did the supervising. We were attending a knitting circle at one point and some of the ladies were bugging me about how I should learn to knit and of course I didn't want any part of that. Besides, I didn't think I would be any good at it. After all, I was never any good at being a productive member of society. I had already failed at being a father. I had failed at being a son. I had failed t being a brother. Why would I knowingly choose to try something I figured I would fail at? Then, I read something somewhere. I don't know if it was Conference Approved or not but the gist of it was that you should try something you think you will fail at. something about overcoming fears.
So one day in the winter of 2015, I picked up a set of knitting needles and said OK what do I do now? I wasn't very good at first. I think the first scarf I knitted was restarted so many times that the yarn eventually became too difficult to work with. But I kept trying. If anything, it gave me something to occupy my mind. Where once I had been worried about the bills or why my alcoholics did the things they did, now I became concerned with creating something I would be proud to give to a homeless person. Or someone living with mental illness. or a survivor of an abusive situation. Or someone who has just given up on life because they think they are worthless and that nobody cares. Now, they're like you made this for me?
I created 50 scarves last year and I'm already at a dozen for this year. I found out that I'm actually good at it. And I never would have known that if I hadn't tried. I don't know if that helps anyone deal with the day to day struggles of coming to terms with the alcoholism in their family and I don't think everyone will find the answer in knitting. Some will play golf or tennis, some will get better at their chosen careers, some will be great writers or painters. We all are good at something , even if we think we will fail if we try.
So that's where I'm at right now. Have a great day.
-- Edited by Wolfie55 on Tuesday 31st of January 2017 03:53:49 PM
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Not all my days are priceless, but none of them are worthless, anymore.
Love this and what an important message to share! When I retired last June, I had half a dozen things I was finally going to try or get into. I have accomplished only one and of course it took the least amount of effort or putting myself "out there."
Everyday I look at or think about these projects, and mildly chastise myself for feeling a sort of fear to start. So silly, really. Yet not.
I really needed to read this post today! Good for you taking on a new skill and a non - traditional one at that. I think this is totally al-anon related! Thanks again.
Thank you Bernie. You also have the gift of writing. I remember your name from an old post that I seen when I first came to the boards a couple of years ago. and I was searching for answers/guidance. Glad you are back. Great example of facing ones fear.
yes serenity that could very well have been me. I've been coming here for a while. I'm like the old sock. Just when you think you'll never see it again, there it is. :)
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Not all my days are priceless, but none of them are worthless, anymore.
Love it! I just started an art class. Major step for me, as I have memories of being shamed by a nun in front of the whole class for my sloppy color wheel art. Second class is tonight. I figured printmaking can't require too much drawing (I was wrong!). Only two of us aren't artists or art teachers, and I'm perfectly fine. It's a huge difference from anything else I do all week, the people are nice and I'm learning something new. Taking it one class at a time and not pressuring myself for the all-important A I always want to make. Thanks for sharing about the knitting. All we can do is try. And enjoy! Cathy
Great share Bernie.....love, love, love that you finally got beyond the fear and ... just 'Did It'.
I'm one who resists change, and when I retired, I stuck to service work and 'fun' activities that aligned with my strengths. I come from a family with mostly males, exception my mom. Needless to say, they are all golfers....so is my AH. I have resented golf since I was very young as it came before me or any of my 'girly interests'. Mind you, I really didn't have many girly interests - my momma put me into them hoping to convert me from a tom-boy state!!! I'm the baby and only girl of 4.
So - flash forward to the ripe young age of 52 and my sponsor whom I love dearly suggests one day, "How would you like to go golfing?" I grumbled big time and then out of my mouth comes, I am open to try anything once, but have despised the game for most of my life...
Off we went - we have golfed once a week since them, weather permitting. I am NOT good at it, and while I am improving, I do not practice nor do I obsess. I no longer hate the game nor do I love it - it's a great gift of fellowship and sharing that nothing can ever replace!!!
That was God speaking to/through me as my will would have said NO without hesitation or a breath. God is great when we allow him to work in our lives. I now realize that trying new things may be frightening, but nobody expects me to be 'perfect' - that was always only heard in my own head from my own thoughts!
Love, love, love the willingness we get in recovery to keep an open mind!! Thanks for a great topic!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
