The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading focuses on our Serenity-- how we work toward it and maintain it through working the program; how we give it away when reacting to alcoholic behavior. The writer states that some of the ways we practice the principles of the program to maintain serenity include detachment, the slogans and asking ourselves if we are truly applying the principles in all our affairs. The sentence that resonates most with me from this reading is: "It might seem that the loss of my serenity is a theft by someone else, but it usually has more to do with how well I'm working my program." I like this because it is a reminder that where I am is not the result of someone else's behavior, but is all about how I am working my own program of recovery.
I have made a personal decision to stay away from social media; some of my friends tease me for it but it is one way I maintain my serenity, in addition to working my program and doing my best to keep the focus on me and what I need to do for myself.
The part of this reading that really sits with me is the power that I have over my own serenity. Before I found the program, and sometimes since, I have felt as though I had no control over anything, and that there was nothing I could do to better my situation. Through working the program, I realized that I am really in control of my serenity, and that when it feels as though my serenity is being taken away, I need to return my focus to myself. What am I doing? What is my inner monologue saying to me? Often, I find myself telling myself stories about the fears I developed in the past, and how they are going to play out now. Thanks to the program, I am able to remind myself not to worry about things that aren't going on right now, and to keep my focus on me and what I am doing and feeling.
Thanks for your service, Mary.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Great page, thank you for sharing, yanks...I love the visual, I can look back on mental surveillance video and see myself handing, other times throwing, my serenity away.
Great point about the social media as I, too have chosen to do that, as well as other media outlets. I had to make a decision: be in the middle of things, 'keep up to date' on current events, or turn things over, know they will work out without me, and hold onto my serenity.
Thank you for your service, have a great day
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Good Morning Mary, Paul and Skorpi I do appreciate reading your thoughts on the importance of serenity and how best to manage it on a daily basis. I know , prior to program. I did not have the capacity to embrace serenity in my life because i was always "reacting" to all that was going on. I did not realize that I could pause," THINK" and then respond. Once I embraced this mode of communication, I began to feel and appreciate " serenity" . Today I am ever grateful for the serenity. courage and wisdom that this program has given me and guard them continually.
Thanks so much for sharing on that page today---loved hearing all the thoughts on it. I have a limited social media "mental diet" too and so appreciate hearing others who draw those boundaries as well---all about discovering choices & listening to our own inner wisdom. REspond don't REact as they say----someone at a meeting told me u get one more second to pause b4 responding with each year in the program. I am getting there... Have a serene day!
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Wishing all the best on your recovery journey, Luv
Before I got into Alanon I didn't even know the feeling of serenity. I thought I had to be thinking and rushing and doing things. I discovered that I also lose my serenity from social media. I get so caught up on the news and reading the reactions of others. I ended up unfollowing my own sister and a niece. When I didn't have to read what they wrote I realized that I had given them the key to my serenity. I got that key back. I was getting too wrapped up. I gave away my serenity. I had to step back and take care of me.
It takes practice to realize (awareness) what is happening and then to accept that it is me who is doing it to myself..... and then to take the action that is needed to live a peaceful life.
I'm a day late and a dollar short! Thank you Mary for your service and the daily. Thanks to all for your ESH! Our dear friend here Jerry has a way of saying (I will never get the words right...), "When I arrived, I didn't know what I didn't know about what I didn't know....it always brings a chuckle to me, as before I began working Al-Anon, I thought I knew what joy and serenity was/were. I didn't have a clue!
I've now seen the miracles of both in this program - in me and many others. It is a process and a journey. My hope is the miracles keep flowing for all who are willing to work for them. I don't like social media at all - I believe it is a way to life a fantasy existence. I love seeing photos of kids and pets, but adults taking selfies? It just makes me pray for their egos.... I prefer to be as authentic as I possible can be, and pick up the phone or send a text. I have to use it for sports/golf/private groups, and try to stay 'there'. Life is too short to witness it on a screen - no matter how large it is!
(((Hugs))) to all...
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
