The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am having a hard time defining my higher power. I have worked the second step when I went to AA 14 years ago but since that time my feelings about religion have changed. The politics of today are not helping. I moved to the southern USA 20 years ago, and their are a lot of good people that go to nice churches. Then there are churches that bend what I have always interpreted the bible to be. Now, we have such much going on about different religions that I have decided there is one God and I really do not care how other people worship him or what they call him. However, I have witnessed so much hatred lately from religious communities it has really clouded my own opinion about these people. I know that for some people using a higher power can be just a powerful as God. Are there readings about this subject? Does anyone have a good insight how to look at the second step within the Alanon or AA community and keep out all the racial bias that is going on in our world today.
Hi when I first entered program I was angry at the God of my understanding and so I elected the rules and principles of the Al-Anon program as my Higher Power. This worked perfectly for many many years because I saw how the program worked and I was willing to entrust my life and my will to it. Today after many years I have a Higher Power which is perfect love, perfect, wisdom, perfect, compassion, perfect knowledge, I have no problem turning my will over to that power either.
Sharon one of the best slogans and principles (laws...rules...personal beliefs) which worked for me and continue to do so is "Act as if" How that worked out for me as to the 2nd step was that it left "a power greater than myself" solely up to me. I was born and raised a Roman Catholic...practiced, served, taught etc and still found myself trying to control people, places and things which resulted in me getting insane. Letting go of the control didn't work because my belief was entrenched ...I was stuck solidly. I could pretend something which amounted to "acting as if". I relied upon my ability to visualize and understand picture training and then it happened...I actually made contact with a HP which became my HP who remains with me still today and who contacts me visually and verbally.
I once thought I could help or change my alcoholic/addict and our relationship by taking her to church with me. When we got to church and I got them seated and started to kneel I looked up toward the altar and hear the question, "What is she doing here"? All of the reasons jumped up at me...I was trying to fix and that had never worked. I was attempting to provide HP with an opportunity to create a miracle for me and that never worked....except in reverse. I quit manipulating and accepted that I had a power greater than myself and left it at that.
Years later after all of the manipulations had failed and the marriage and assets were all broken and scattered HP used my alcoholic/addict wife to give me the example of many on how I was supposed to work my recovery. She put herself into rehab and started her rehab with a bag over her head and kept the bag there for 2 weeks. At first here case worker asked her why she had a bag over her head to which she replied "I have come to the understanding that if I don't allow myself to be lead blindly thru recovery I will never survive". She is my visual example of humility...being teachable. Thank you God. Please place me where you want me and tell me what to do.
