The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today is 1 year since I found out my son had a drug problem. This past year has been hell. I have cried more tears then I ever thought possible and believe it or not, there are still more to cry.
Currently he still believes he doesn't have a problem. He doesn't have a job, doesn't have a home base (jumping house to house), has a vehicle that will be repossessed very soon and a girl friend just as sick as he is. But, no problem they will make it.
I have good days, I have bad days. I am learning that each day is different and I can't control what happens from day to day'; the only thing I can control is how I react. My HP (God) is on speed dial, I talk, pray and at times beg.
Someone on this site this week gave me this saying. God, put me where you want me to be and show me what to do. I have repeated this time and time again since I read it. I also ask God to put my son where he wants him to be and to show him what to do. My higher power is the only way I am getting through this mess! I understand everything that happens is my HP's will and it works in his time not mine.
Thanks for letting me share. Today is an okay day considering...
Maika`i (blessings) Tannersmom that prayer must become practice, a spiritual mantra and not a pleading cry. For me it is a prayer I recite regardless of what is going on in my life so that I become and instrument of God's peace as the prayer asks. The entire prayer is on the back of the Just For Today pamphlet of our Al-Anon literature. When I first heard it I begged of with "NO...keep them the hell away from me" and then I realized it wasn't all about me". I have and will keep your son inside of that prayer...it is the most that I can do. (((((hugs)))))
(((Tannersmom))) - sending you positive thoughts and prayers. You are working it and that's all you can do --- just for today! Be gentle with you - know we are here for you as best we can be...
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
(((Tannersmom))) I know how extremely difficult this journey is particularly when it is your child. I was where you were not too long ago.... I had began to think that it was never going to change and was seriously in jeopardy of the stress of it all affecting my physical health and emotional health as well. It has been a slow journey back to the land of living for me. Things are so much better one year later. My child did find her way into sobriety and working a program but I can assure you it had nothing to do with me begging, pleading, crying or falling apart. No matter what I said or how many times I said it she did not surrender and get help for herself until she was ready. This was very hard to accept for a long time that I could not control this disease in her no matter how much I loved her or how hard I tried. Looking back I wish I had reached out for help for myself sooner instead of focusing all of my efforts on her but I didn't. My stupid pride, fear, embarrassment held me back. I am glad to see you reaching out. You are not alone and there is hope.
