The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Although I haven't posted in a bit, I read the posts every single day. I have been very busy preparing for surgery tomorrow. It is in-patient biopsy of a possible cancer. I have had scans, and tests of every sort and tomorrow we will know for sure.
With all the doctor visits and consultations, I made a request of AH. I KNOW talking about the drinking will not accomplish anything, but I made my request that he at least cut back. I need him as sober as possible to listen, understand, process what is going on. I didn't ask him to stop, but to cut back, (because his drinking has definitely increased and he is fairly lit by late afternoon and on.)
His response was that he is always there for me, that I am #1 in his life and so on. I didn't argue, or try to convince or persuade. I had my answer,,,, bottom line is that as an alcoholic with his denial, distorted thinking, and pure need for alcohol, nothing is going to change. Not even to cut back for this important reason.
The good news is I have loving family and friends who have offered to be there for me in a heartbeat and I will take them up on that. AH is who he is, and I can't say I'm shocked or heartbroken. Bottom line, he's going to drink, what am I going to do?
(((El))) - I wish you a successful biopsy and am sending prayers for the best possible outcome. I had a similar experience a few years back, and it was my second time through it. Both my sons were a mess and my AH was deep in the disease, denial, etc. I actually opted to not tell any of them and instead leaned into the program friends completely for help/support.
Everything went fine for me and the test results were negative. Ask your HP to arrive before you so he's waiting when you arrive....someone suggested that to me and it really was helpful to know that I was not alone at all - no matter the outcome.
Prayers for positive results.....
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
