The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's page considers what we may do when our outcomes are not matching up with our intentions. If we find this happening, it is time to examine what our intentions truly are and how we are going about achieving them.
"Let me first be sure what I intend and the reasons for my choice; this will guide my thoughts into constructive channels, and keep me from attempting the impractical or impossible." - Celebra Tueli ****************
Before I found AlAnon, my intention to help my qualifier did not bring the desired results. My actions often achieved the opposite while also leaving my life unmanageable. It was only with the guidance of the program that I was able to accurately assess where I was going wrong and the changes I needed to make.
Good intentions are not enough to deliver good results, particularly when dealing with problem drinking. I am so grateful for the tools and wisdom that AlAnon provides that ensure that my efforts don't have to be futile
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Thank you Paul for the daily, your share and ESH. Before recovery, I rarely examined my motives nor did I ever consider them to be selfish. I truly believed that my way/ideas/suggestions were the best and most logical for all involved. Only when I was able to find humility, seek to understand my part and work the steps did I 'see' that the ultimate driving force was my EGO and my WILL....
Today, when things are going different than desired, I have learned that discomfort is a message to me from my HP - my will is not in control. I can pray about it and let Go and let God and trust the process. It's not always easy to accept or like this situation, but time and time again, it's proven to me to have the better outcome.
The program has taught me to look at my own motives and then decide if my actions are pure or not. Talking things out with another person helps me 'see' when I am foggy. So, so grateful for the program.
I hope you are still on the mend - I am feeling better and better each day - what a nasty virus...my parents leave tomorrow and we've got plans today and I am finally excited to be going out/about. Feel better soon! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks Paul for this powerful reminder. Before program. and working Step 4 I discovered that although I thought my stated intentions were to help others and solve their problems, my motives were usually "suspect" and that my apparent "Doing good" for others actually had my own well being at the root.
I would fix ther problem such as ,give advice, give money etc so I did not feel bad and could tell myself I was helping. By learning to examine my intentions I slowly learned how to respond in a constructive manner with loving intentions and what a difference this makes.
Thanks for your service Paul have a great day.
