The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
That is how I have felt for sometime now. I know I don't really have to explain it - so many of you can understand.
I drug my butt out of bed this morning for the meeting and it did help. I shared and that helped too. I still feel like I have my shoes on the wrong feet but I am taking one step at a time today.
I do feel like I am standing in the middle of a waterfall and I should just step aside...that would be the smart thing to do. I guess that my new awarenesses make me want to jump right into action without even trying to accept them. I am thinking that is where the glitch is right now... There is nothing so serious going on that I need to solve it right this second, not really.
I also need to accept that if I am going to feel the good feelings, then I have to take my turn in the bad sometimes as well. I don't like to be angry or to treat people badly - it makes me sick. I just want to be heard and accepted, you all do that for me and it makes it even harder at times to accept that I do not get that in my own home. And that is when I get to a point where I want to self destruct and bury myself and hide. If you all "really" knew me why would you love me?
I do have hope and that is a good thing, I know that this journey I am on will bring me where I need to go. I am need to get back on the path and quit trying to draw the map myself.
I struggled with exactly the same thing..... "why am I going to meetings, and she (my A) was not?"
It took me awhile, but I had to finally realize that the "shoes were NOT on the wrong feet", and that I needed some recovery, for ME. Whether or not my A ever chose to seek sobriety was somewhat irrelevant to the FACT that I was sick, and needed to get better. After finally accepting that, I began to see my Al-Anon for what it truly was and is - a blessing. The tools we learn and apply from Al-Anon are life changing and rewarding throughout our every day lives.
Take care
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Helo Spark, "nothing going on" rings a bell with me . We are so accustomed to living in chaos that calm does not feel right . so often i would stir the pot a little bit and all hell would break loose . I have been where your at a few times myself. then someone aquainted me with the saying How do I manage when there is no one left to manage?" I had given my husb back his life to do what he had to do. let go of trying to change friends etc . so there was really no one for me to look after - accept me.
My friend said when there is no one left to manage "now u get a life" go figure . Louise
If you all "really" knew me why would you love me?
Sure this is an online group and the computer afford anonymity and we can be a little other than who we are. But it's also an Alanon group.
Like the closing says, no matter what your problems there are those of us who have had them too. Also, as the closing says, you'll love us in a special way, as we already love you.
That is exactly it Sparky. This is one of the safe places. Were we can be ourselves. Were we can bear our souls, warts and all. And there are still people who love us here. It is frustrating that we can be more ourselves in these rooms in some ways than at home. But again, here it's safe. Whether we know all or part of you, we love you. I might not know everything about you and I might even know a tmi detail or two (lmao) but I know enough that you've been a friend and that is reason enough to love you as it is with so many of my chosen family.
Luv and hugs in recovery, bumpsters
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You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
this is from Hope for Today. when i think myself into a troubled state, i will remember this: dont look around, look up. It can help to replace obsessive thoughts with something positive, such as Alanon slogan, the Serenity Prayer, or another comforting topic that has nothing to do with my problem. Courage to Change page 306
Keep Looking uP! Your doing Great!! ((Love you)) Sparky. I am so very glad your"Here."
Your doing Great!! ((Love you)) Sparky. I am so very glad your"Here."