The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading is about how we make the decision that we belong in Alanon. The reading is written by someone whose daughter attends AA meetings for a few years and then makes the decision that her problem isn't truly alcoholism. The parent feels a little bit lost as to whether he/she should continue in alanon. The parent realizes that the qualifier for alanon is when there is a problem for us in terms of alcohol use/abuse in another.
I remember feeling that if I went to alanon that would put the stamp on my now ex H being an alcoholic- it seems I would be responsible for that too! I certainly participated for a long time, in being firmly planted in denial-'if we show there is no problem, hey there is no problem!'. As the write for today felt,I also felt relief in knowing that the only 'requirement' for me continuing in alanon was that I felt I should be there. We say that alanon is a gentle program, and this acceptance of those of us who need to be here was the first instance of that in my experience.
We all know how pervasive alcoholism is. One does not have to live with an active A to benefit from this program. I am grateful to be here every day and hope that if someone is thinking- 'I'm not sure if this is for me', they will check out some meetings and readings.
Good Morning Mary I love the fact that the only requirement for membership in alanon is that we are bothered by someone elses' drinking. I do believe that everyone on the planet would qualify. I am so pleased I found the rooms and decided to work the program for my own sanity.
Thanks for your service.
Thank you for sharing, Mary! The gentleness of the Alanon program hooked me. (Well, that and pure desperation, since I had tried everything else I could think of!) And that gentleness keeps me coming back. I find in the program a way of being that is less critical, less harsh, less judgmental that I had become. For me, I have found that working the program helps me to be more gentle and patient with others, but most importantly, more gentle and patient with myself. I am truly thankful for the harmony and balance I have found through the program.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Thank you, Mary. What a good topic - I hadn't looked at why I have incorporated Al-Anon into my life.
Examining it more closely, I don't know that I consciously realized it, but my whole body and soul seem to underscore that Al-Anon is a constructive, positive place. Not infrequently, I have found myself getting drowsy in meetings. It isn't that I need rest...I am simply feeling the reassuring, calming effects of participating in the fellowship. I was surprised when I realized it - I hadn't understood just how badly I needed this safe place - but I'm delighted it is there.
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"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
Good morning all - thank you Mary for the daily and your service. Thanks for all the shares above me. I actually resisted Al-Anon for a long while as I thought I should not have to do another recovery program (EGO).....I was so wrong. Working this side of the program has so enhanced my relationship with me as well as my HP. I have grown in compassion, patience, understanding and spirituality - what great gifts.
I am so grateful for Al-Anon, my F2F meetings, my program friends and MIP....each adds to my life in ways that are hard to quantify and blesses me in ways I probably don't even know.
Make it a great day! (((Hugs))) to all!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
My qualifier died when i was going to Alanon. I live in a small town and it was impossible to go to a meeting under the cover of darkness, during the summer.
My brother told my mother I was still going to Alanon because I thought that she was an alcoholic too!
Typical of the 'chinese whispers' inside of my family...
...today the qualifier is me. I still suffer from some anxiety. I believe I need a certain amount of it- to survive. But I do not know what normal is- it was never demonstrated to me, it never seemed to be around me- apart from keeping up a good face, in the face of misery.
Here, 'in the rooms' I can be myself- learn to be myself... ...I can share without fear, have feelings without fear...
I am pretty much.certain that at my current job I have been dealing with a number of alcoholics. That being said the joy of this program is knowing Indi not have to fix any of them. The way I was brought up the notion was it was monumentally selfish to take care of yourself.
Fighting against that is tremendously hard but it is worth the fight. I am so happy to have made it through some really dark times.
Maresie25
Of course being in recove
...