The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I remember not so long ago when that question tormented me. Why did this happen to our family, why was I being punished ? After all, I had done all of the hard work of responsible parenting, I had survived growing up with an alcoholic and had come out unscathed (lol) so I thought. Why, why , why would roll around in my head and created terrible angst, sadness, shame, all sorts of emotions. Now the question I think to myself is why not me? I have everything I need to cope with this and if I continue to lean into my twelve step program, place my trust in my hp, I will be ok. I have been blessed in so many ways in this life. Addiction touching my life has certainly molded and shaped me into the person I am now. I don't know if I would have developed some of my most valued attributes (non judgemental, empathy, gratitude and compassion ) had I not faced some of these challenges. I guess that is where acceptance and surrendering come in. It really does bring a sense of peace no matter what is going on around you. It has brought me to this board with all of you caring and compassionate people and it has brought to me some really special people who are facing the same struggles and now I do not feel so alone. It has brought me in touch with my higher power whom I had totally disconnected from. For all of that I am grateful.
((Serenity)) I agree. I must say that prior to program and working the Steps I could not have seen nor accepted the wonderful gifts that you have identified.
Thank you for this and I feel the same. 'Why not me' is the question or the grown up question. I spent my whole life with the other question, why me? It was due to my immaturity I believe as I thought I should have had the fairy tale I had dreamed of and when I didnt get it I felt very sorry for myself and this question came from that type of thinking. Its a hopeless way to think because it put my happiness, peace and power in the hands of other people and outside circumstances so I was fragile to disappointment and life in general and when it didnt go my way then I would be frustrated, miserable and looking for someone to blame. Its a never ending trap.
Today, thanks to Alanon I can see the blessings and in fact I see alcoholism as a bit of a blessing in terms of it bringing me to a spiritual way of life and these new different, much improved thought processes. I still live with the disease its engrained in my family and still within me. Ive picked up the tool box but it took me 40 yrs, so my adult children may take a long time or may not ever pick up the tools. I can only set an example and thats why Alanon must be in my life forever really, this is my amends.
Great share - thank you......I too can relate to your post. I too am grateful that I found recovery and a better way to be/live. (((Hugs))) to all.
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
