The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My day started off badly today with my daughter throwing my puppy and breaking his neck. My sister-in-law, her husband and my son went to my daughter's us stop today as planned. They live about an hour to an hour and a half from me. She appeared excited to see them. My S-I-L asked her if she wanted to come home and she said her dad would get mad. She was told that it is her decision and if she wanted to come home they would bring her. She asked them of they were going to "steal" her. My S-I-L told her no that if she wanted to come they would ring her, but they would not make her come. At this point she muct have seen my son in the car because she told her two sisters that their brother was in the car and to run and get their dad. She tried to pull my son out of the car and was crying and screaming. My daughter told them that she was where she wants to be and doesn't want to come home. Their dad came up to the car and they pulled off as he threw a brick at the back windshield. All of the children are traumatized and I still didn't get my daughter back. My son is very upset with his father. He called the police and tried to file an attempted kidnapping. They never tried to force her in the car. He also lied to the police and said he has custody papers for my daughter. I called the police dept. and talked to them. Thankfully, they didn't have grounds to take it any further. I don't know if I should proceed with a lawyer when she apparently wants nothing to do with me.
Thanks to everyone for their prayers. You must have prayed for strength for me because when I received the phone call, that is what I felt. I, too, prayed that if it wasn't His Will for her to come home that he will continue to watch over her and give me strength to make it through this. I will continue to pray for her safety and well being. I also pray that I will continue to have strength and that God will take the anger and bitterness I feel away from me. I can't help but feel angry with her, but I am trying to remind myself that I don't know what is going on in her head or what they may be telling her.
(((((((((((((((((((((powerless)))))))))))))))))))))))))) I am so so so sorry! Hang in there and I will keep you in my prayers and your daughters too!!!
I know you are feeling angry and hurt by your daughter right now. Try and be patient. It is so confusing and hard on us as adults dealing with an A or addict. While we don't understand, we at least have the facts. We can also rely on our HP and our program to help us. A child cannot understand, they don't have the facts and even if they did, how can we expect them to understand something that makes absolutely no sense.
She is probably confused and hurt and angry and who knows what information she is being fed.
You know how well your husband is doing and how hard he is trying, but maybe she is not ready to accept that. She might need to come to that in her own time.
Our lives with A's cause so much pain and anxiety and disallusion, but I think the biggest victims are our children. We make choices, they don't get any.
I pray that with the help of your HP and your love and patience your daughter will come around. I can imagine how you are feeling, I know I would be climbing the walls. Hard as it may be , don't give up, be patient and keep doing things the right way. try not to do anything that will damage your relationship with her. She needs to learn to trust again, just like you did.
I'm sorry I didn't clarify. I have two daughters and a son. My two year old threw the puppy down this morning and he broke his neck. He only weighed 1 1/2 pounds. My nine year old daughter is the one at her father's.
That is an icky situation. You do sound strong in your post and giving to HP. Remember your daughter has HP as well watching over her and protecting her. Something good may come out of all this. Hang in there, I'll keep you guys in my prayers.
Hugs,
Twinmom~
__________________
"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
Powerless....I know you feel this way, but remember you have a Higher Power and God will get you and your daughter through this. Just keep your eyes on Him, He can always turn things around.
