The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My Son is an alcoholic, he went thru detox and checked into a rehab facility for a month. He got out 3 days ago and I found a bottle in his bag tonight. He is not a kid. He is 38 years old but still my son. I don't know what to say to him. I want to fix this but he is a grown man and I don't know how to talk to him about this. In the past when we talked about his behavior it always ended with me yelling at him. Where and how do I deal with this.
Welcome Wray I am so sorry that your son has relapsed and would like to say that this is not unusual and that Alcoholism is a chronic progressive disease over which we are powerless. Alanon is a recovery program established for family members who have lived with the insanity of this disease and offers support to break the isolation caused by interacting with the disease and constructive tools to live by. Face to face meetings are held in most communities and the hot line number is in the white pages. Please investigate the meetings and keep coming back here as well You are not alone
Welcome to MIP Wray - glad you found us and glad that you shared. I am sorry for the affects the disease is having on you and your son. It's a progressive disease and my experience is nothing I said, did, or did not do ever changed the actions of my loved ones. My pain from worry, chaos, insanity and more caused by this disease led me to seek help for me.
Al-Anon has helped me keep the focus on me, and detach from the disease and the diseased. Meetings were the best step I made in the beginning as I found out I was not alone and there was a safe place to share and seek support without judgement or advice. We learn early on the three Cs - We did not Cause this, We can not Cure this and We can not Control this.
I found hope and help in recovery - I do suggest you try some meetings and see if it can give you the same. Please keep coming back here too - you are not alone!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene