The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
To all of you on MIP who celebrate the US Thanksgiving tomorrow .... May you have a peaceful and joyous Thanksgiving!
Even though my life is much more serene these days, I still find myself triggered by memories of not-so-happy (traumatic!) holidays in the recent past. I am finding it helpful to remember, when thinking about all the family members who will be gathering together and those who won't be in the same place with us ... that each of them has their own Higher Power, and it isn't me. I believe this will help me be able to truly enjoy the day.
I am grateful for all of you here who share your ESH and your stories so we can be a supportive community.
How do you plan to use program tools to help you during holidays?
I have no ESH here as I'm a newbie, but wanted to wish my friends to the south a very happy Thanksgiving.
I am grateful for all of you & hope this holiday season sees each of you holding steady in your program and enjoying each day with loved ones.
Blessings from the Canadian <3
Thanks to all of you who share your experience, strength, hope and time and energy here on this board. Thanks to Lois and all the people who started al-anon way back when. Thanks to the addicts and alcoholics who led us to this miraculous transformational program. Thanks to our Higher Powers for always being there to guide us, whether we look for it or not. I am so thankful to all the al-anoners who have come before me and have shared in speaking, writing, and prayer to make this beautiful program. Thank you everyone!
Happy Thanksgiving to all MIP family!! I have done a ton of work in my life to simplify....I fully understand the triggers, and my best tool is always to PAUSE. I know that many years of my crazy thinking is not completely gone, so any time I feel a twinge of 'something', I pause and remember who's truly in charge - not me but HP.
I am often sad as the disease and it's affects have truly wreaked havoc on my family. Marrying one in recovery and having two children who were blessed with the addiction gene has been very damaging to our nucleus and relationships. It's been 7 years since we've all been together for a holiday so I do get a bit sad/anxious/sad/anxious at the holiday season. I am reminded of God's perfect plan and perfect timing when I do what I've been taught to do and it just works so well.
I don't know if I will see my boys tomorrow and that's OK. The first was the worst and it's become the expectation. If I do see them, it's just bonus gratitude for me. I have some crazy-making cousins as well but boundaries are easier with extended family than children. So PAUSE for me is very helpful at family events. Let Go and Let God is right up there too. And the famous - when in doubt, don't. I am big on service so do end up usually washing dishes with another cousin and we get to avoid the general chaos.
I know today that my HP doesn't want me to be anything but Happy, Joyous & Free. If I am slipping from that, I am grateful that I am close to home and can depart when/as needed.
May your day be filled with joy and peace all - huge (((Hugs))) from my small part of the world. Grateful each of you is part of my journey!
Thanks Freetime for starting this topic!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I will be alone at Christmas. Literally, by myself.
My sons will be home later that night and I will make dinner for us all.
I am doing my best to look at it as any other day. There are expectations of Christmas Eve/morning.. and it's best if I let them go and be happy that I have a solid relationship with their dad, who will bring them home eventually.
It's the expectations of the season that get us.
We all picture a happy family, enjoying each other's company.
Our reality is not so. BUT... I know many families that keep up the charade miserably. I'm grateful that I'm not a part of that anymore :)
At least we live in reality.
Even if tomorrow doesn't go as planned for all, we have a bond here. Unconventional. But stronger than most I've known.
For the past five or 6 years I always went to my mothers for thanksgiving. Piled my car with my kids and my A and drove 6 hours to be judged. There are many reasons why I decided to not go this year. I am sure my absence will be the talk of the table. But its ok, its none of my business. My A will have 60 days of sobriety on Friday. My son will have 40 days clean. I will give thanks to God for these blessings and my own recovery in progress and it will be good. Happy Thanksgiving to all!
So many reasons to be grateful and thankful .. recovery being number one .. another family always .. i may not be consistent in sharing all the time but i am grateful for that ..
when my mom died and we had to celebrate last year .. i began remembering all the times we would shop together just before the holiday .. how much i miss that .. but last year i decided to stop fighting it let go and let god .. i went out and did all the things we would have done together anyway .. and i felt her beside me the whole way .. when it comes to being alone .. remembering when i first came into program .. for me i used to share i thought i had control (over other people) .. i never 'really had the control i had the illusion .. in the same way i used to feel powerful ... realized there too i never really did have the power (alone) i had the illusion . until i came to meetings .. found a higher power and others in the fellowship who would even loan me theirs for awhile .. recently when walking around i realized when i think or feel i am alone .. I'm not really alone .. i have the illusion of being alone ..
much peace to all of you and to your families .. much love too .. in alanon we don't have to know others before we can love them .. such a beautiful thing ..
