The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
hi, all. trying to detach here. ABF is sober and working his program. i believe. today doing intake for outpatient program.
but he's up throughout the night at weird hours (lifetime problem of his) and now he's smoking. plus he's been on the patch since de-toxing from tobacco (pouches) while in rehab. so now he's smoking w/ the patch on.
i'm really not digging the ashtray smell and feel like he just HAS to be addicted to something.
his next big hurdle is work. desperately needs work.
i'm supporting him because there's no other option... apart from shelter or sober house, which we (i) decided against. but it's bugging me that he's buying cigarettes w/ money i've lent him for living expenses.
i'm just... U G H. not feeling patient with the whole process.
and i'm trying to do better with self-care. learning my lessons on how essential that is and how unnatural it is for me to do it. took myself to restorative yoga last night. probably won't go back, but it was something.
Those days immediately following rehab were the worst for me I can very much relate to how you are feeling. I have said multiple times that I don't think my pink cloud every got off the ground to even crash. It seems like a life time ago but it was less than 9 months ago. I am a whole different person now. Everything he did gave me anxiety and questioned his actions, his thinking, his sobriety. It was awful and my prayers are with you. One day at a time and this too shall pass.
J now is a very very good time to find a supportive, recovery experienced sponsor...If you haven't already. Sponsorship for me has been powerful of tools. Keep coming back (((((hugs)))))
Junenine - I third it.....my sponsor and a few trusted friends were so very sane for me when I was in great need. One constant reminder I heard was focus on what is working and stay on my own side of the street. (((Hugs)))
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
thank you, everyone. i missed my meetings this past week but i'll be back this week. still looking for a sponsor. may go with a temp-sponsor until i find a match, not sure. i really appreciate all your comments. things can (and have) been worse, for sure, but as you all understand i was having a moment. hope you all have a good thanksgiving if you celebrate.
I understand having the 'moments'......totally! I have called temporary sponsors and/or others who are working a good program at times - they've talked me back from the crazy train I was considering getting on. It's amazing if I call a program person vs. speak in my home how much better it goes. This was a awesome tool - the phone - for me in the beginning.
Keep coming back - We do fully understand!!!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
thanks, Iamhere. i had a really good program call so i've had a tiny taste of what you're talking about. must say it was a pleasant surprise. definitely grateful for the program and for this cyber place (with all you real people!) too!
Awesome Junenine - it always brightens my day when I see the miracles in progress which result from our program! I do consider MIP a part of my daily program steps.....love to come here, see the program in action, see what others are doing and being a part of the solution. Keep coming back!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
