The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My daughter ran a successful small business ....she has always had problems handling money and has always drunk to a degree...she is married to someone who is the same but less willing to earn a living.....In 2007 they had a beautiful little girl....In October 2010 their family was completed by the arrival of a gorgeous baby boy.....just before Christmas day he died.....They went on to have another terrefic little son in 2012....Since then everything has been going down hill.....The point we are at today is that no bills are being paid.....they are drunk every night and both get violent when drunk....(never with the children though)......he won't work.....she is losing clients because she turns up drunk/hungover.....I get attacked on the telephone and by text messages....I am constantly giving money that I can't afford to them for gas/electric.....I get woken up all hours with garbled telephone calls....I have spent hour after hour talking to her when she is sober....I worry 24/7 about her children....being disabled makes it worse because it's not easy to get to any meetings......I am at the end of my tether and hoping some one....any one can give me some coping mechanisms......thank you in advance xxx
Welcome to Miracles in Progress. I'm sorry to read about the loss of your grandchild and the difficulties that your family are experiencing. Alcoholism is a chronic, progressive disease over which we are powerless. Dealing with the disease without help, causes many people to develop negative coping tools that hurt them and so we who live with the disease also then need a program of recovery of our own. Al-Anon is that program. Face to face meetings are held in most communities and the hotline number can be found in the white pages.
Living with /coping with the disease causes many of us to isolate so that by attending face-to-face meetings, we break that isolation and learn how to develop new constructive tools to live by. I urge you to check out these meetings and if you are unable to attend. . We do have online meetings here two times a day. These are held chat room and the schedule is as follows
Wishing you a warm welcome as well. Sorry this is happening to you. Unfortunately I was powerless to do anything for my qualifiers until they reached the full consequences of their addiction. Helping them out and throwing money I could not afford was useless, as well as the talks. The disease had to unfold its self and I almost turned into a crazy woman dealing with the anger and disappointment. I was a figurative Don Quixote chasing windmills. Please be good to yourself. I too couldn't go to a lot of f2f meetings, so I started here. Wishing you peace and comfort and Ill pray for you.
Welcome ((((leanne))) to MIP - so very sorry for how the disease has affected you and those you love. As Betty suggests, the Al-Anon program is where I found help and hope for my situation - also with children as qualifiers. This disease is strong and devastating in so many ways, but it was so comforting to know I was not crazy completely and that there were others - I was no longer alone.
I see you can't get out and about - certainly our online meetings will also provide you support, ESH and more. Keep coming back - sending you positive thoughts, hugs and prayers for peace!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
((((Leanne)))) Aloha and welcome to the family. Your post brings back memories of fear and panic when I reached the point of no return. I had no further to go and going back to the start was impossible because I just couldn't remember the start. I was done and the program gave me the subject of surrender and telling the disease "Uncle" I give up and I did and let the nothingness that remained be the only atmosphere I had. Little did I know that was exactly where my Higher Power...God as I understood God...wanted of me; no more fight in or out of me. I was done...powerless and without a plan as to what to do next other then remember where the door of the Monday Night College Church of Christ Al-Anon Family Group was and what time to be there. That was my start as scary as it was and once started I never quit or looked back on it. Keep coming back and building the courage to join us. Prayers and sincere wishes. (((Hugs)))
