The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading talks about the extensive ways our sanity can be restored with the Second Step of our program. So many of us arrive at Al-Anon and struggle to realize the limited ways we experience life. There is no doubt that being restored to sanity includes the ability to function responsibly and realistically. However, a sane way of life should also include the willingness to play, take breaks, and cultivate hobbies - having fun - laughing even!
When all we can see are the troubles in our life, we are seeing with limited vision. Dwelling on these troubles allows them to control us. Footwork is surely required, and learning how to let go. When we take time to play, to laugh and to enjoy, we are taking care of ourselves and giving our Higher Power some room to take care of the rest.
Today's reminder -- A good chuckle or an engrossing activity can lift my spirits and cleanse my mind. I will refresh myself by adding some lightness to this day.
Today's quote - from As We Understood... -- "now I look for humor in every situation, and my Higher Power is a laughing God who reminds me not to take myself too seriously."
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I am one who came to recovery very intense and hyper-vigilant about my will and my way. I rarely took time for me, let alone to have fun. My way of thinking is this disease and my qualifiers were so crazy, there was no time/room for fun/games in my life. I viewed softball as a part of my therapy - getting out of the house, taking a break from the insanity, etc. However, even though this was for me and should have been fun, I often carried my burdens with me, and really struggled to enjoy the moment.
I have been taught in recovery that what I focus on becomes larger than life in my own mind. If I obsess over my qualifier, the disease, the chaos, etc. it magnifies in my mind, and seems unbearable and never-ending. When I can focus on what is good (gratitude) and working well in my life, that too magnifies and feels peaceful. Step 2 suggests that We Came to Believe that a Power greater than Ourselves Could Restore us to Sanity and only asks us to believe that sanity is possible in recovery.
For me, sanity suggests balance - a balance between my self-love and love of others. A balance between my emotions, my spiritual journey and my energy. I am grateful that I can enjoy life today, one day at a time. There are things that are LTP - Less Than Perfect - remaining in my journey, but they no longer control my thinking, emotions and actions. I can see them for what they are - opportunities for growth - and heal/deal as needed. The insanity of obsessing over all around me has lifted, and my HP does have a great sense of humor!
Make it a great Friday all - our weather is changing - fall/winter has arrived in my neck of the woods...(((HUGS)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Good morning IAH, thanks for sharing your thoughts on this important topic. Entering program I seriously thought that I was very sane the rest of the world was crazy. It was amazing to discover that in the Second Step, I needed to ask HP to restore me to sanity. I was unaware that my attitudes were askew, and that I was far from sane . When I heard "changed attitudes" will aid recovery,I agreed everyone else should change their atitudes as I didn't have a clue what that really meant.
I also had to be careful about laughing at situations because that was my go to" denial tool". I would make a joke of what was going on and dismiss it as funny and meaningless. I needed to learn to speak my truth without humor. Today with a right sense of humor I can truly laugh at some of my attitudes.
I kept coming back, listening to learn and discovered that many of my attitudes were faulty. Growing up in an alcoholic home had formed my beliefs and that i needed to begin learning new tools to live by, as this was crucial to my well-being. The way I could learn was to begin practicing the program one day at a time, keeping an open mind, using the tools. These all helped me to let go of negative unrealistic expectations and to accept the world and life on life's terms. For me being restored to sanity was learning acceptance.The 2nd Step is a gradual process as is most of the program and i am grateful for that.
This is Beautiful IAH thank you for your service and your share. I read this today and thought about how I was fortunate to always have a sense of fun in my life. I have always enjoyed laughing and fun. At times that was less because I was so focused on the "problems" in my life. When I was at my lowest point, before I found Al Anon, I became friends with someone who had a great sense of fun and humour and brought out the fun in me again. I had lost it for a little while but it came back naturally and quickly. And I held on to that. I see my exercise routine as my therapy as well. Getting out of my head and doing something physically challenging is the best thing for my state of mind. That and the laughter with friends has restored my sanity. The place I always feel strongly that sanity is possible is in a meeting. That is where I find the most inner peace and positivity. My group is strong with many long time members as well as so amazing newcomers. There is a lot of laughter and a lot of joy in my group and I cherish that. I remember coming one week and I was so upset about something my AH had done and when I shared another member chuckled. At first I was thrown off by the chuckle but when I started to think about what had happened it really was kind of funny and not as doom and gloom as I was interpreting it. Then I told an al anon friend who wasn't at that meeting what happened and she laughed too. By the end of the week I was laughing about it. It helped me feel less like a victim when others didn't see me as a victim in the situation. I am always grateful to my group for helping me see the positive or sometimes the downright hilarious parts of my situation. :)
I am not living in sanity right now as a newer member, and I know it's my own clouded thoughts. No one is doing this to me but ME.
There is so much more to life than the things I am focusing on. I do have limited vision and I am missing out on all kinds of joy because I am laser focused on my qualifiers, my need to please them and knowing I am not pleasing them by changing my behavior. It has thrown me into a bit of a tailspin.
I'm feeling pretty broken, BUT there is so much hope in my heart. I see the members here as well as in my F2F and how they have found the peace, joy and laughter I'm searching for.
I'm latching on to the hope for dear life these days!
David - you made me think of 2 things and the power in my recovery of meetings.
1. I have a mood ring. I wear it infrequently but every time I've had it on, and attended a meeting, it's blue. That's the color of serenity/peace of mind. It is blue the entire meeting.
2. I have 2 fitbits. One has the HR (Heart Rate). I prefer my smaller one to that one, but when I was wearing it, the only time my HR was ever calm beyond waking was in a meeting. It also stayed very constant for the entire meeting.
I truly believe in the power of meetings and I feel the presence of my HP there - even when I show up to the meeting with a scattered brain or a heavy heart, I find real and true peace/serenity in meetings.
Thanks to all for your shares!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
. It was amazing to discover that in the Second Step, I needed to ask HP to restore me to sanity. I was unaware that my attitudes were askew, and that I was far from sane . When I heard "changed attitudes" will aid recovery,I agreed everyone else should change their atitudes as I didn't have a clue what that really meant.
... thanks Iam,