The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Since my break up with my ex ABF I am realizing how insecure I really am, and that its fueled most of my anxiety. I have been asking my higher power to help me push away negative thoughts but would like to know some things you all might do to help you when dealing with this.
Good for you for recognizing it and putting a pin in it. I don't have much ESH to share here since I'm early in the program myself, but I am in the same boat. It's a big step to be able to have an uncomfortable situation come up, or a thought and know "this is my insecurity talking to me". As we call it out for what it is, we're better able to get a handle on it and learn how to shut that negative voice down. I'm learning that our surface insecurities have much deeper roots. The negative self talk is what we hear, but it all stems from a much deeper wound.
I found that writing a gratitude list and an asset list every day helped me to rebuild my self esteem and self worth. Attending meetings, reciting the serenity prayer and a slogan when I heard my "ANTS" telling me I was not worth anything helped tremendously.
Remember it is a process and that progress not perfection is success.
Personally I call that the itty bitty sh$!ty committee .. I have to do a quick HHALT ( hormones, hungry, angry, lonely, tired) see what needs I can meet immediately. Then make a point of being gentle with me. What would I tell my best friend in a similar situation. I find affirmations work wonders. Post it notes on the mirror work wonders. Everytime I think something negative 2 positive things for the same situation. I hear people talk about forgiving their trespassers.. They forget the part about forgiving themselves first. Forgiving our trespasses as we would forgive those who trespass against us. Self forgiveness is a huge step in recovery which relates straight into step 1. Admitting I can't. He can ( step 2). I'll let Him ( step 3). Insert HP for He/Him. That IBSC needs to sit down and shut up. Keep coming back .. Great work ..
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
I had this book called FEeling Good the New Mood Therapy. That book is about constructive thinking. Almost all depression and anxiety is caused by thought distortions. That book was so helpful. I could spot the thought distortion like, all or nothing thinking, magnification or minimization, name calling.... So helpful
I am with Betty and Serenity on this....gratitude lists, asset lists and checking out the HALT truly all help me. I have also started some positive affirmations this year which have helped. I do them in the morning, and there are not too detailed - just reminding myself that I am loved, I am a child of God, I am worthy, I am enough, etc.
My best centered days are days when I am leaning into my program as best I possible can - start with prayer/meditation/daily reading. Talk to another recovering person during the day (even just text messages telling others to have a great day), meetings/literature at some point and step work/prayers/meditation at the end of my day.
You truly are worthy and the awareness of where you are is an invitation to change! That's how I see it....Once I am aware of something, I can then accept it and take action to correct it or change it if/as needed.
Great topic and great discussion. You got this!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
