The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It has been two weeks now since my husband and I argued and I haven't heard a word from him. Manipulation? Anyways, in the first couple of weeks (I've been here several times) I can be strong. It's after the two weeks that I start breaking down. I have found that on the weekends is when I get the most depressed. I find myself wondering what the silence means. I have been trying to stay busy and keep the focus on me. Please say a prayer for me that I can continue to be strong and let my HP lead me.
Good for you staying strong and coming here and being honest. It is not easy. I am in kind of the in same boat. My A and I split a month ago and have had a few conversations and I have felt so bad after each. I decided to not take any more calls for a while. I am letting them go to voice mail. If I need to respond then I will but so far it has been better. It seems like I am not just waiting around. I also can relate to the weekends are the hardest time. It is so hard to not call my A …. But I didn’t!!! the reasons it didn’t work still are there. Just because I am feeling lonely doesn’t make things change. I have made myself a new pack to plan something to do both days next weekend. I think this will help with the loneliness and boredom.
Don’t know if me dumping my stuff helps at all. Just wanted you to know you are not the only one that is going through this hard stuff. We will feel better. The sun will shine again. It will!!! I know going to online chat/meetings and ftf meetings have been really helpful!!!!! If I am willing to reach out. Wish you well and be proud you are being honest not just acting on each feeling. Sometimes they pass and we don’t have to do what we always have done. J Mindful
You both help more people just by posting!! I know me personally--I am with my a and wondering how long I can stay this way. We don't really argue and fight, but we sure don't see things eye to eye (I just don't get into it with him!) He isn't going to meetings and he is probably using (although last week I didn't see any true signs), who knows when it will get bad again. I always wonder if I can handle things not working out. I know I can be ok. on my own--I already made it through one divorce--it's just that I don't really want to. But we have to think is being with someone who can't think about others and their needs who we want to be with for the rest of our lives? We all have to do what we can deal with for ourselves. I think you two are both brave and strong. Hang in there!!!! I hope you both work through this to an ending that will make you happy!
Mine was a dry drunk...I just could not take the crap anymore and I quit calling him. Last week he moved out of state. Bought a new car and got a new job and a home in another state. While living here he had no car and a crappy apartment. Anyways...I cried all weekend. I know it would have never been right with him but who wants to be home alone? I did not do any of the things I had planned to keep myself from being depressed. I know if I keep waiting on someone else to make me happy I will never get there. Doesn't make the weekend any better yet though!
thank you so much for posting this. it seems to ease the pain just knowing that i'm not alone and that others are going through similar times. this too shall pass is what i've been telling myself. sometimes i feel like jumping out of my skin rather than dealing with this pain and lonliness. but i know that no matter what, given time, it all changes. and if i can just hang in there and work the program to stay strong and make the best decisions for me right now it will get better. never in my time, only in God's.focusing on myself and my kids and the things i can control (like what's for dinner)seems to help too.you are not alone. things will get better.have faith and be gentle with yourself. you are doing the best you can right now. thank you for your honesty and sharing.
I understand the uncertainty. I think a f2f meeting will help you get a better prospective. Talk with someone one on one. I hate that your hurting. Talking with someone that understands can help sooo much.
Finding a way to begin to focus on Yourself. Try to make a plan to find things to do to stay busy. Wether its golf or quilting.... or bicycling or reading a great book. You are taking care of your own happiness, your own health. Enjoy life. It really IS what YOU make it. You can love your spouse and still keep your Self. Its This I have learned. A healthy relationship begins from within Your Self. Its how you come across. Its your being. Once you begin working the 12 step program.... once you have the courage to reach out for a sponsor., YOU will find so many new things within yourself ... it can be a bit overwelming. But in a breathe taking way. Remind yourself of the 3C's.
You did not cause it. You can not cure it. and You can not control it.
SOOOOOOOOO
(another favorite) LET it GO and LET your God / HP take care of it.
May I suggest that you take a look at the Books available (there here on this website too) and pick out one , maybe two out to start. You will find much strengthening within the pages! Being here is another fantastic journey I am so glad you have found.
Enjoy Today. Keep Looking uP! and Keep coming back!
... it can be a bit overwelming. But in a breathe taking way. Remind yourself of the 3C's. 
and LET your God / HP 
take care of it. 
and Keep coming back!