The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My name is Stephanie. I'm 24 years old, and the past 5 months have been some of the best and worse of my life. I met my husband while he graduated from rehab, and only two short months later we were married. He was doing amazing when I met him. Just about 8 months sober! He has done many different types of drugs, But cocaine was his drug of choice. Lately, things have been rough and Wednesday night was when my worst nightmares came true. He stole from my mother, went through her belongings and sold two rings. My mom found out, called the police & because my husband was on probation, he's now serving five years. I'm a wreck. Everyone in my family is against me, because I went to my first visit tonight. But although I don't agree with what he did, and it was terrible..I can't just stop loving my husband. My heart hurts. I'm lost. I need help.
you can't really help how you feel. A successful marriage has to based on more than feelings. That person should care about your family, and be trustworthy. A child needs a father that is trustworthy. Apparently, I don't think your family is against you, they want what is best for you, and they want you to have someone that treats you right.
Hello Stephanie Welcome Please search out alanon or nar anon face to face meetings and attend. Check for the hot line number in the white pages It is here that I received the support and compassion that I needed in order to learn how to live my life while dealing with this dreadful disease.
Please do keep coming back here as well There is hope.
Welcome to MIP Stephanie. Glad that you found us and glad that you shared. I am so sorry that you had to look based on what's going on. I too would suggest you seek out Al-Anon meetings and work on you as best you can.
Addiction is a progressive disease and if left untreated, will usually only get worse. It affects others well beyond the user and the damage can be extensive and deep. It's very, very difficult for people unfamiliar with the disease to accept/understand - in support meetings of either Al-Anon or Nar-Anon, you'll find others who do understand ad will support you.
Please know that you did not cause this, you can not control this and you can't cure it. Keep coming back - there is hope and help in recovery!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
You are not alone in how you feel and the more meetings you attend, and the more time you spend on being good to yourself, the stronger you will become in your own skin. Also, while I understand your family's feelings about your husband, and I'm sure others tell you the same, do not feel guilty or less then for supporting him or following your heart.,just don't do so at your own cost..in other words, be good to yourself, and then allow yourself to also support him as well, and don't judge yourself to harshly for that
I would love meetings. I need people who are going through what I am to help push through this time. It's very difficult and the support from everyone is truly amazing! Thankyou so much, where are some good meetings to attend in Rhode Island?
I did a quick google search and here's a link from the official Al-Anon page....http://www.riafg.org/
I hope you find a meeting(s) close to you. The website also includes quite a bit of good information to understand more about AFG!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
(((((Stephanie))))) Welcome to the board. The thoughts and feelings you are going thru must be as bad as the ones I went thru early on after marrying my very own alcoholic/addict wife. It was hard for me to convince myself that what I was going thru was as sick as I use to judge other alcoholic/addict relationships but it was. I came to understand in the Al-Anon Family Groups and then came to understand even more. I am still coming to understand while being glad I lived thru it to be here today. One of the marks of this disease is insanity which I use to experience as being usual without knowing the real living definition and then I came to understand I was born into this chemical addiction living the nightmare.
I pray that you understand the 3Cs That I am Here offers, You didn't cause it, can't control it and will not be able to cure it as for me also that lessened the amount of shame I was exposed to with my own family.
Please keep coming back to get your support from MIP. (((((hugs)))))
So, when I first found out he was smoking pot again, after the 8 months of sobriety..I was so upset I tried to control his every move to ensure he wouldn't make the same mistake. But I found it made the situation worse. At one point I even served him FAKE divorce papers to show him I wasn't kidding and the situation really bothered me.. you know what he did? He got so high he couldn't even speak. I left him the papers, he saw them and immediately took off. He ended up with one of his friends who doesn't live too far from us. And that's what he did.. that's why i'm afraid to distance myself until he's consistent, because I feel like without me.. it would never be that.
