The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello All, I'm having a little trouble these days. As usual I have caused some discomfort. I asked my qualifier if they could be nice towards me while their parent is in town. Once again. I "started it". I just don't know what it could be this time. We really haven't had a conversation in weeks. The last conversation we had was me suggesting that we both seek counseling and perhaps have couples counceling. My qualifier agreed. I did seek counceling for myself and have been attending All Anon meetings regularly for about two months. My qualifier is doing what they do best. I just feel so lonely and attacked, I feel like this is my fault, but Al Anon has made me wise against that beleif, but the feeling of hopelessness is still there.
(((Reakoblack))), I've been there. When mine wanted to drink I could yawn and be the reason for his next binge and attack and he could be mean as a snake. If he wanted to drink, he would. It was always easier to look at me and say, that which you are doing, saying, wearing will be my excuse. It was easier than him claiming responsibility. I learned in Alanon, I am powerless over alcohol and it was not my fault. His accusations weren't real unless I made them so. You should always expect nice treatment from others whether people are in town or not. Try to take care of yourself. Do something extra nice for yourself because you should be nice to you regardless of anyone else's behavior. When I feel hopeless I do the next best thing and repeat.
Welcome to MIP, Reakoblack. Living with the disease of alcoholism is extremely frustrating and I can understand your sadness and confusion. I have been there and done that.
It is great that you are attending Al-Anon meetings and soon the powerful tools will begin to work for you. Learning to keep the focus on ourselves, as Al-Anon suggests enabled me to develop my serenity, and connect with supportive people who understood as few others could.
The slogans, serenity and the Steps are like gold and helped me to nurture myself in a positive manner.
I too send you a welcome Reakoblack - so glad that you found us and so glad that you shared. I can relate to the sadness as well. I believe it's a part of the healing process - almost like grief. What I realized after the sadness began to life is I was grieving what I wanted life to be like as well as grieving the loss of my dreams in some ways. In my journey, the sadness stage was absolutely necessary for me to find my blessings. The grieving process seemed to open my mind up and allow in the real blessings of the journey. It also showed progress as sadness was a step up from perpetual anger, anxiety, resentments and hopelessness.
I am glad to hear you are attending meetings. I tried many things to fix all that was around me, and the only solution that really helped me find my peace and joy was recovery through Al-Anon. I found some relief from the fellowship and meetings but I found my destiny/journey through working the steps, and practicing all suggestions.
I am thrilled you are part of my journey and hope you keep coming back. You are not alone and there is hope and help in recovery!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
