The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My AH acted selfishly towards me and for some reason I was surprised. Thinkng about it now, it just seems silly. I had no reason to expect him to support me when it was even slightly inconvenient or uncomfortable for him - but still I had expectations and set myself up for didappointment. Things are so much better now that he is dry, but still he isn't able to be the partner I really want him to be.
I started a 5k training program this summer and though I had some set-backs and haven't finished my program i'm going to jog/walk my first 5k fun run this Sunday. There's a kids' dash, lots of candy and swag and I'm excited for not just the run, but the whole experience.
Today AH realized it would conflict with his football watching if I ran too slow, or spent any time at the event afterwards. He complained about being "stuck" there for too long. It's clear he doesn't want to go, but if he does not come as he promised to do months ago I will have to run and care for my 4yr old at the event somehow (he really wants to go and I want him there too). I don't have a caregiver or friend who could go with us.
Bleh. I stumbled into the hardware store hoping to buy bread again. Of course AH is selfish, and unreliable I know that already. Water is also wet. Lol
I came up with a new plan to find a jogging stroller to borrow or if need be push my kiddo in his bike trailer for the 5k. I won't let this stop me from having fun at my event. If AH chooses to come, fine; if not, I am all set and will probably have more fun just with my son anyway. We can take our time and do the 5k together in our costumes and eat loads of candy at the end.
Thanks for reading, writing this out helped me think through my hurt feelings. Any ESH you can share is appreciated
I'll be a unicorn and my son is going as Batman. Looks like we'll have a stroller to decorate too - maybe a rainbow batmobile mash-up
The run is fun with lots of costumes and a finish line party with kids' activities. We'll have a great time for sure. I just let my feelings get hurt when AH made it clear he wasn't supportive - but that's just reality and it is his choice. (And his loss)
What's fitting is I started trainng in part to move through feelings from my childhood - feeling as if my father would withold affection if I wasn' the best at something or fear that he would ridicule my weaknesses. And here is AH complainng about my expected race time being too long - I'm over it. I'll be one strong momma finishing that race and celebrating with my son.
Oh I believe in unicorns - and your son was obviously meant to join you with his own batmobile!! Isn't it wonderful when we find work-arounds that actually work for all that old tosh stuff!
Great job for training for the 5K - I too am excited that you are going, you are taking your son and you've found a Plan B that will work for you! I too would love to hear about the day and of course, see the photos!!! Keep on keeping on - have a blast!!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
AH ended up comng afterall - no big deal since we had a plan but nice to have his support. He was mostly pleasant, and was supportive of my accomplishment but next time I may just go without him to see how it feels. Crowds and events aren't his "thing" and he made an effort but I want to see what it's like to fly solo too.
I beat my expected finish time by 12 minutes!!! The course was flatter than the trails i've been training on and the whole event was so fun - I finished with Bob Ross, a happy little tree, and a narwhal. Lol totally awesome.
Pics pending
Yay for you for doing the race and doing it better than you expected! It's also great to see how everything worked out in support of your goals, fun, etc. That's a super great photo - what a great memory....keep on keeping on - your recovery is a miracle in progress!
(((Hugs)))
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks for your support - the race was so great and a big deal for me both physically overcoming my old injury and progressing in my recovery. It felt great to have a physical, tactile thing to help me understand my growrh and change over the last few months. I am looking forward to the next one. I have another four weeks in my training program to help build up more strength and endurance and then I hope to see an even faster race time
It's really wonderful to have this physical activity as I work my steps and let go of old ideas and beliefs - It helps me see that I am capable of change in anazing ways
