The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The C2C reading for October 25 speaks about a defect of character that of" making choices passively and not making decisions. "
One of the ways we can make amends for this defect is to stop practicing the defect. In every area of our lives we can ask ourselves am I taking responsibility for my self today? Do I make a contribution to my meetings or do I assume that someone else will take care of everything? Am I making choices I can be proud ?
Al-Anon has no opinion on outside issues and doesn't define our responsibilities, however It does encourage us to define our values and take responsibility for our choices
The quote is from As We Understood: " Making amends is not just ." I'm sorry " it means responding differently from our new understanding."
Making decisions passively was a tool I used unconsciously and because I was in denial and pretend mode I justified my actions saying I was keeping the peace Today in alanon I have learned I cannot make myself invisible in order to keep the peace instead I need to have the courage to validate myself and my needs and this is there amend I have made,
Thank you Betty for your service, ESH and today's reading. I still at times tend to state at a decision far longer than necessary - I believe I still fear I will make the wrong choice. I've come a long, long way and am so grateful that I use the program and tools but must admit the fear creeps in now and again.
It's so easy to trust God when things are going smooth; I have to fight my desire to use my own will when there is chaos around. This is why I work as hard as I can to not contribute to the chaos around me, and instead trudge my own path even if it is alone.
I do like how it clearly suggests our amends process isn't about saying/being sorry, but is about change. It confirms for me that changing who I am and how I am is what helps heal me and others I have harmed.
It's been a busy week for me and a busy day. We are still having above normal temperatures and it's been very lovely! Golf today (decent outing) and softball tonight. Of course, I played last night and Sunday night and ..... I took a nice long nap this afternoon. Grateful for my health and energy levels - even when tired!
Hope you too are having a great day!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I have a tendency to make decisions very quickly (sometimes rashly) without thinking through the consequences - and things turn out the way they turn out, which is basically fine. I love to force a solution! So one of the things I find difficult in al-aon is the ideas of "wait and see", "listen and learn" and "easy does it." I know al-anon says not to force solutions and I have been trying to practice this (it goes against every fiber of my being that just wants to act and do and talk and be busy, one of the things I yell in frustration about others is "just do something!"), but then there's this reading about not being passive, which sort of confuses me.
The takeaway for me from this reading is to make choices that are in keeping with my morals/values.
