The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Reacting to all my sit. Has always been my behavior ways ,never worked like pouring fuel to the sit.
Today I'm trying to learn a whole new way of behaving with using responding instead of reacting ,a new tool I'm just finding that I really need help with along with examples of how do I stop reacting( never worked), to responding ,a much more healthier tool and new behavior for me to learn,thanks for listening ,hope all is well........lots of hugs and love,,,,lu
LU reacting and responding are very important processes to understand.
For me" reacting "was to immediately jump to a conclusion and decide what was going on and made a decision instantly on how to act and then acting .
In Responding I found that when I took the time to pause while keeping an open mind and process a situation, without jumping to conclusions, I could respond after evaluating the facts and making intelligent choices and decisions.
To accomplish this"responding "I needed to train myself to detach and pause, recite the serenity prayer inwardly so as to allow the information to process and then respond based on my principles.
It takes time and practice so please keep on keeping on
Example of reacting: Some one is yelling and accusing me of something-My anger builds and I yell back accusing them of similar things
Same scene in responding I will pause, calm my anger inwardly. process the words that are being spoken and calmly validate myself and walk away
Wow,,how I've got lots of work to do there on responding not reacting to sit.ill have to really practice this tool of responding it's not gonna come easy especially after yrs of reacting to every sit.reacting for me brought on headaches,stomach nausea,and never ,never settled a thing like pouring gas to a already lit fire.sit escalates...
Hey LU - I agree with everything Betty says! For me, the best tool I learned early on was the PAUSE button. I visualize an actual pause button, like on a music player. I was a huge reactionary person and most likely I reacted with like - if I was being yelled at, I yelled back. If I was being inventoried, I inventoried back....
PAUSE gives me just enough time to recognize I can be different if I want to be, I can respond different than what's coming at me and I can always choose to not respond at all. The latter was so very helpful - learning I could actually walk away from illogical dialogues was a great gift for me. I also love that I can choose to be right or I can choose to be happy. I go for the happy most of the time now because it's usually just not that important in the grand scheme of my spiritual existence.
Keep working it - it does get easier with practice!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks IAH,very inspiring ,both Betty to,I always look forward to your replies, love it,I always get a lot of understanding fron yalls replies ,now to learn how and when to practice,practice,practice this tool is very crucial to me.......
