Last week I had an incident at work where I missed something medium sized in importance because I wasn't really on top of my work.  I've been very distracted for a long time and I have a horrible habit of avoiding things I don't want to face and procrastinating.  The issue worked out ok and I think it was a little message from HP or the universe or whatever to look at how I treat myself around my work habits.   This whole procrastination and avoidance business isn't really taking care of myself.  It's the opposite.  I put undue pressure and stress on myself.  I used to think I worked best under pressure but really I don't.  I don't produce my best work under pressure and I am not happy with the results when I have done something rushed and last minute.  So I've been using two slogans at work.   First things first and keep it simple.   I have modified keep it simple to keep it really really REALLY simple lol.   Instead of getting overwhelmed with all my tasks I am just doing one thing at a time.  It's amazing how things have evolved for me as I keep the focus on myself.  I started out by getting more sleep.  Now that I am not coming in to work sleep deprived I have the energy to do the things I need to do in a day.  Then that incident happened that scared me but also made me see that I needed to put more effort in to my work....for my wellbeing.  For the last three days I have been doing my honest best at work without going overboard but still doing all that I can to get things done and I have actually been really tired at the end of the day.....which helps me sleep.  I have received feedback from peers and my manager about being more focused, having more energy etc.

My AH is still drinking some nights in the week but instead of all my focus being on that I'm focusing on the things I CAN change to make my life better.  Just going to bed and letting go of AH and his drinking, handing him over to HP has been such a relief.  The nightmares are getting less and less frequent as well.

Thanks for reading.