The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Some of you know that I took up golf about a year ago. A bit of back-story - my father golfed m whole life. My brothers all learned to golf as kids. I was not allowed - I was pushed into girl things - tap dance (not my cup of tea), jazz dance (better but still....) and finally gymnastics (love, love, love!)
Anyways, so for 53 years, I've actually consider golf a waste of time and silly/stupid. After all, what is the point of chasing a small white ball around a golf course for 4 hours? My husband also is a golfer since he could walk, so I've even referred to myself as a golf widow and a golf orphan over the years.
So - last year, my sponsor (whom I love, cherish, respect and admire) asked me what I thought about golf. I am never bashful and shared my thoughts on the game. She said, "So - would you want to try it?" I am grateful we were on the phone because I am sure I did a double/triple/quad eye-roll. Yet - I've been told for as long as I've been in recovery that trying new things helps keep us open to new things. So, I agreed.
We went out one day and she was surprised I could hit the ball at all. She had started from a different place - no sports at all prior to the game. I had fun, more because of the fellowship and conversation than the actual game, but I agreed to do it again. We played once a week until it got too cold and then we stopped for winter. We picked back up this spring and have been golfing each week.
I have improved - I can admit that, but it is a frustrating experience for me as I am very inconsistent. I am a competitive person and know that golf takes a ton of practice. A part of me just isn't sure I want to put in extra effort to improve. I like the once a week outing and that's good enough for me. Well - we've been rained out for the last two weeks so we golfed today and neither of us had done so for a while. She does also golf with her husband and in a league but the weather has been up/down here for fall.
For a reason only know to God, I golfed better than I have ever done so before. She asked me if I had been out without her and I said No. Neither of us could believe that I had such a good round of golf as usually I have a few good holes and then .... Not today. Again, for a reason I do not know, I was able to play reasonably consistent and reasonable good.
We talked for a while after and then parted ways. This is, for me, where my disease haunts me. My first thought was, "I golfed really well." Soon after, my next thought was, "I wonder if this means softball will be a challenge tonight." And then, "I bet this was a fluke." "I'll probably not golf this good again for a while."
I had to almost smack my own cheek to stop the ANTS!! I had a great round of golf. I played really well. It felt good to see results. (Why oh why can't I just be happy and serene and stop thinking here?) I had to reach out to God and ask for the ability to let go of my own defeating thoughts again!
I share as an example of how I can take a good situation or outcome and still over-think or over-process and make it less than desired. Even with time in the program and tons of tools, I can still sabotage my own success with no help from anyone else. I am so grateful that I am able to use this program and regroup. I am grateful you all are here. I am grateful that I was willing to try a new activity.
Off to play 3 games of softball in a while - I will play good.....or at least, just do my best!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Great Share!! Above par in your ESH and stayed in bounds...you're growing. Stay with it don't just putt around and maybe soft ball will create room for a hard little one. Just joking around of course.
Loved the share and story. I can so relate to diminishing something positive into an immediate negative. I retired from teaching this June, but knew I would want to get a part time job eventually. A position became open that I wasn't even looking for in a slightly different field. The hours were perfect. The interview went extremely well and I was offered the job. I was very excited, but started to think, "I bet I was the only one that applied. Who else would want those few hours per week?" I also mentioned to someone that I know they can't discriminate because of age, yet I am still surprised they went with someone of my age. She looked at me and said, "they based it on all your years of experience! You don't look or act old and you have a lot to offer!" Now, why couldn't I see it that way!?
You have inspired me to be more open minded with your share, IAH! Glad you are enjoying golf, no matter how it turns out!
This share gave me a smile - congratulate yourself on succeeding in a game that frustrates everyone! Even Tiger Woods said yesterday his game is vulnerable and he can't compete right now. He withdrew from a tournament but you are improving and recording great scores. Give yourself a hand for succeeding at new things, and continuing in softball at the same time! you will hopefully inspire me to get out and return to the activities i loved!
Thanks all - so ... I admit after golf, I treated myself to a nice lunch and then a lovely nap! I was getting dressed for softball and got the text message....other team forfeited - so 3 wins!!!
Note - this is not at all how I like to win games and I really, really wanted to play but I'll take the night off just the same.
I can honestly say that if you would have told me 1.5 years ago that I would be golfing once a week, I would have laughed in your face. Never, ever stop trying new things - you'll either confirm that you don't like/enjoy it or you might learn that it's okay or even that you love it. I was so set in my ways before this program. It was rare that I went out beyond ball. I avoided neighbors and others and kept my eyes low always - fearful that others could read my pain, agony, fear and shame in my eyes.
This program gave me my confidence back as well as my willingness to just be and do. What a gift we get when we are willing to work on ourselves! (((Hugs)))
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks for sharing inspiring story,we done never know what the future holds for each one of us,I'm one not never trying new things now after reading your story of how you got into golfing,inspires me to want to go try something new,I've been thinking about bad mitten for a long time just haven't made myself get out and do it . Thank you IAH ....lu
