The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading deals with some of the survival techniques we may have used growing up or being part of the chaos of an alcoholic home. The writer speaks about 'not dealing' by escaping into a world of books and art works. He goes on to say how even when he found hims in Alanon meetings he still felt isolated as that had become his defense mechanism. Ultimately he found a group that was a good fit and realized the strength of the program-- no matter how different we seem, we are all similar and vice versa.
The writer acknowledges that part of what had him stuck was not having an open mind at first.
I certainly see myself in this description and when I think of the first meetings I went to- i had become an expert judge! And sat there in judgement of myself and others. When i let that go I started my true recovery. I hope if there is anyone out there struggling at meetings that they take some time and keep going back. One of the most comforting and reassuring phrases I have heard and know to be true is 'you are not alone'
Hello Mary Thanks for posting your thoughts on today's reading in the HFT. I can so identify!!.
When I first attended alanon meetings, I too felt apart from the others and unable to identify. I did hear "keep coming back" and so I did, but it did not get easier until one day I hear "Keep an open mind" and then the light bulb went off--
I always thought that I was very receptive and accepting with an "open mind" but that was not true. I found that I really had my mind made up about everything imaginable and filtered out any information that might change my opinions. I used program tools and" listened to learn" and finally the alanon information entered into my being and my soul and what a gift.
I did keep coming back. This time because I felt empowered, and connected.
Thanks for your service. Have a great day
Good morning Mary - thank you for your service, the daily and your ESH....I too can relate - many of my defective ways were a direct result of walls built to combat the disease in one way, shape, form or another. I am so grateful that it was suggested to try different groups - the first one I attended was not the one that I call my home group. They were lovely and welcoming - the issue was me, and my lack of willingness and lack of an open mind. I am one who also went once and then had to return to my way, my will for a while until I hit my bottom.
The second group felt better - most likely because my pain was great enough to know I needed to change. I had made every effort to convert others to may way and it did not work. My sponsor just kept telling me to keep an open mind and I am so grateful that I listened. I now know that when I am uncomfortable in my own skin, it's often because I feel fear and my old ways are trying to resurface. Thankful that our program has given me new tools and new ways of dealing with people, places and things that I am powerless over.
Have a super Tuesday all! I am headed to golf shortly and playing 3 softball games tonight. We are to have rain/storms moving in tomorrow but just for today - it's a lovely day to be out and about and one with nature!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
