The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today is our Canadian Thanksgiving. We have not heard from our son and do not expect to. That is his choice and we are learning to live with it.
We were invited to a sister's outdoor cookout but chose not to go. She also has invited one nephew who is an 'in the closet' alcoholic. In the closet because no one in his family, especially his mother, will admit to it and think his drunken, domineering, argumentative, loud behavior is just 'him having fun'. He has spoiled every family gathering now for several years. He is 49, can't work due to his depression issues, and has alienated every friend he has ever had. We are supposed to ignore his behavior, ignore his bullying of the cousins, ignore his determination to take over every conversation and air his views, talking over anyone who dares to disagree.
This year we just said thanks but no thanks. Instead we went for a long and lovely drive. The trees are in full colour, the air was so clear and every turn in the highway showed astonishingly beautiful vistas. We stopped and ate at a little restaurant and then wandered home.
On the way home, I realized how thankful I was that the day had been full of peace and beauty. I missed my family, I missed my son but I did not miss the drama that alcohol brings.
Today I got a telephone call from a niece who had attended and she said it was very, very strained for the whole day. So next year, she, her husband and her parents are planning to join us and leave the craziness behind.
Thanks to all the wonderful people here who have shown me the way when I was lost and floundering.
Happy Thanksgiving and so glad you made the decision to honor your feelings to not be around that behavior today! It is so liberating to give ourselves permission to take care of ourselves. Good for you and thank you for sharing. It helps me to hear reminders about situations such as yours.
Deacon happy thanksgiving from a fellow Canuk. Thanks for sharing this. Alcohol is the reason we no longer gather on holidays. I love your idea of going for a fall drive and getting a bite out somewhere. I would be very thankful for not having to do any cooking or cleaning up from now on haha!
Happy Thanksgiving from another fellow Canadian. Good program work on taking care of yourselves and removing drama from your lives. Choosing peace and expressing gratitude for the small things always puts me in a better place no matter what others in my life are doing. Sometimes it is difficult to do but always worth it.
Love the share deacon and love the growth. I too send Happy Thanksgiving to you and all others from above us in Canada! Your day sounds lovely - filled with beauty, joy and peace....love this program - gives us that which we didn't know was there for the taking!
(((Hugs)))
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
