The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I hope this is the correct place to post this introduction.
As indicated, I am a newcomer to Alanon and so happy to have found this resource. I live in a small town with only a couple of meetings per week, not well attended even so. I took my 24 year old son to treatment this past Friday. i was filled with emotions; gratitude that he finally accepted treatment coupled with an equal amount of guilt that I did something as his Mom to cause such emotional pain that he turned to pills.
I am here in support of his recovery but most of all, I am here for myself. I am desperate to learn and practice a new way of life. I am a little familiar with the principles of AA as my son's dad was in recovery for 10 years prior to relapse. I tried a few Alanon meetings then, mid 90's, but was filled with so much anger and resentment I was not ready, to say the least.
I am 53 years old and am more than ready to look at myself, look to my Higher Power and begin a program of recovery.
-- Edited by RecoveryMom1491 on Monday 10th of October 2016 09:39:04 AM
Welcome Recovery Mom I am pleased that you are familiar with the alanon principles and know where the face to face meetings are held in your community. These meetings brought me sanity and gave me the tools to live my life with courage, serenity and wisdom. even while dealing with the alcoholism of my husband and then my son. I am very happy that your son has entered a treatment program and am sending positive thoughts.
I would like to point out that you are dealing with a chronic, progressive, disease over which we are POWERLESS. You, as a mom, did not do anything to make your son use. You did not cause the disease, cannot control it and cannot cure it.
Since we are powerless over others , the best we can do is to find support for ourselves. As we develop new tools to live by and a supportive network to practice with we start to recover .
The alanon literature such as the Courage to Change and How Alanon Works, also helped me to keep focused on my recovery and keep on keeping on.
Please keep coming back here as well- there is hope.
It is a special joy to welcome you back to Al-Anon! We took the same path, my friend, I didn't stay my first time around either. Yet when the student is ready (and perfectly desperate) God appears! that is my experience.
I am in a small town too. We have meetings here but... long story. I gladly travel to the big city for my meetings. And the entire 45 minute drive... sometimes an hour depending on traffic... is a wonderful time to absorb God and the Al-anon message.
I have found that my growth in Al-anon is the best thing I can do for my children... and me.
Mom, you are doing great already, when you look for something hard enough to find it, that is a good start. I went to Al Anon meetings a couple times, and they didn't take either, i also wasn't ready to really hear the truth. A year later after my wife's second DUI, I was ready, as you seem to be.
Be gentle with yourself, there is nothing you could do to start him on pills, that was his unfortunate decision. As Betty said, you didn't cause it, can't control it, and won't cure it.
Welcome newcomer-I joined Alanon at age 62 and was ready to get out of the depression, obsession, anxiety, and desperation I had been stuck in for years. I am still with my A. In fact today it is 25 years. With program for 3 years now, I have become a sane and happier person most of the time. One of our slogans is Progress Not Perfection. That works for me! Keep coming back, Lyne
Welcome recoveymom. You have come to the right place. I to have a child struggling with addictions and I believed that I could control and cure it and at times agonized over what I had done that caused it. I now know and accept that I did not cause, cannot cure or control it. I was in a serious wrestling match with this disease for at least three years until I was so exhausted and depleted I had to surrender. I still try at times to snatch back control and it never ends well. I always felt that because it was my child that I had to do something to fix it. I had to protect her. Now that my thinking is clearer I can see how I tried to control her and completely lost myself in the process. I am in a much better place today because of Al-anon and learning to step back and allow her life to unfold. I instead work on watching my own life unfold and participate in it rather then trying unsuccessfully to run hers. Things are not perfect but they are so much better then they were and I am grateful.
Welcome recoverymom to MIP. So glad that you found us and glad you joined our journey. I too have 2 sons who are qualifiers. I believe letting go of them and their disease was the hardest thing I have yet gone through. However, the program, tools, sponsor, etc. have helped me find myself again as well as my sanity and joy.
Because of how the program works, I truly try to live one day at a time. I am one who believes that Al-Anon saved my life in many, many ways. I hope you find hope and help in recovery too and glad that you're here.
Keep coming back!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Aloha Recovery Mom and welcome to the family. This is truly a loving family and I rely upon their participation in my own recovery to keep me sane and serene. Being here for your own recovery is primary cause if you don't have that you don't have anything. That was an old lesson and as much true now as then. Come learn with us and grow with us and share your Experiences, Strengths and Hopes with us.  (((((hugs)))))
