The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I can't seem to stop worrying. I got home from a great day with my 13 yo daughter to find an empty house. None of my 3 boys are responding to my texts. That's a bad sign. Dh isn't here and I just don't feel strong enough to deal with drunk/high teens. It was just a week ago when someone dumped one of them in my yard unconscious and covered in vomit. I put in our favorite movie and tried knitting, but the nausea and shallow breathing just won't stop. Anyone got any words if wisdom or handy tricks? I don't know how much more I can take.
((TMATS)))Alanon principles suggests that worrying never solved any problem because fearing what might happen does not lessen the blow when the event comes to be.
Please remember to breath!!!
HOw to stop worrying is the issue -- I have used the serenity prayer repeated over and over in my head as i watched a movie or TV show . I also remind myself to stay where my feet are in the present moment To look about at where I am and enjoy the moment and not project to the future. You and your daughter are save now relax and trust that you will be guided to the next right action.
You can also call public service and have them picked up for jail or emergency intake or such...I've done it and it wasn't hard with the exception that the calls were not on my own family but others. I Am Powerless and need help so I call for help and then I do what Betty suggests...keep my shoes under me and stay in that spot.  Keep coming back (((((hugs)))))
You have two great replies... I can add that over time, the anxiety is poisonous. When life feels "unmanageable," it's time to put my hand on my heart and say, "I care about this suffering.... I care about ME."
In my experience, you may be somewhat traumatized by what happened, I relate to that, alcoholism is very destructive. Abdominal Breathing has helped me when I have felt panicked (please take what you like and leave the rest.)
ABDOMINAL BREATHING; Lying down, place one hand on abdomen, beneath the rib cage.... inhale slowly.... and deeply, as much as your lungs can hold. Your chest should move only slightly while stomach rises and pushes your hand up. Pause for a moment and then exhale fully. As you exhale, allow yourself to let go, imagine your whole body going loose and limp. Practice this 10 times (but if you feel light-headed, stop for awhile. Then start up again.)
Often, I didn't make it to the count of ten. I just fell asleep.
If I didn't fall asleep during abdominal breathing exercises, these affirmations helped; "May I be peaceful... may I be happy... may I be safe... may I be free, etc." ...repeat over and over.
And if it feels right, I'd affirm my loved ones (but only if I didn't feel resentful toward them) "May they be peaceful... may they be happy... may they be safe...."
Take care of YOU because you matter too (((peace)))
-- Edited by 2HP on Sunday 9th of October 2016 07:34:58 PM
Dh is home. The 3 boys are not. I'm still in total panic mode, but trying to read C2C to calm my nerves. I *know* intellectually that worrying never solved anything and steals the joy from the present moment, but my anxiety disorder isn't cooperating with my intellect.
Three wonderful supportive replies. Thank you. I'm going to try the breathing exercise now. And thank you for letting me spill my feelings here. I don't have anyone IRL yet. :)
Sending you positive thoughts and prayers TMATS - hoping that with your DH home you can relax a bit and trust the process!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
