(((jocelgp)) Please stay in you own hula hoop, trust HP and know that your mom is not in program and does not have the tools that you are developing.
There is a reading in he C2C that states "stop worrying about the future, what you need to know will come to you without any effort on your part". I found this to be so true - I simply need to keep an open mind, keep the focus on myself and more will be revealed.
If you have an alanon book like the C2 C she might benefit from it and then you can discuss the principles together.
Positive thoughts on the way

Thanks Betty & Iamhere for reminding me and reinforcing to stay in my own hula hoop and trust God. I have actually discussed with my mom some alanon principles but I guess as the saying goes "it's hard to teach old dogs new tricks". At the moment we're talking she seems to understand but I guess old habits are hard to break. It's her nature, she doesn't have any intention but her remarks are sometimes sarcastic and somewhat a ridicule. Her tongue is faster than her mind. I know that somehow I got some of her flaws, but who am I to judge her. At least the awareness that I also got these flaws on my skin helps me in guarding myself and make a change in myself. I also hope to learn to just let it go with my mother, not to be bothered by her hurting remarks. My mom ate early and didn't join us for dinner. My husband on the other hand rarely speaks and is again displaying some sort of depression, wearing that pity unhappy face (I think it's some sort of drama). So I was also quiet the whole time, replying as short as possible when asked. Wow, I feel so tired tonight, I had to work the whole day (I work at home), do household chores in between, do the "alanon" to two people I'm living with... at least I have my 2 doggie babies to hug (not virtually, LOL). I'll say my prayers and sleep early tonight (((Hugs)))

Hi (((jocelgp)))

It feels natural to want to share our frustrations with family members who are closest with us. Ideally, they would  be non judgemental listeners to what we share with them.  It what we expect from Alanon members. We don't give advise in Alanon just share our experience, strength and hope. Family members who aren't in Alanon are also suffering from the effects of alcoholism. A wife is affected by a husband's drinking and a mother in law is affected by her daughters heartbreak as well as her son in law's drinking.

Without recovery, my own thinking concerning living with someone who was alcoholic consisted of snap judgements, instant decisions without thought of consequences, speaking without a filter, taking actions on behalf of other people that were not mine to take and self righteousness which including not apologizing. Without a program, I found it very hard to mind my own business especially with the people closest to me in my life. Honestly, jocelgp even today it can be hard to keep my lip zipped and sit on my hands when I see someone close to me suffering. It's particularly difficult if it echoes a situation that I myself have experienced. Loving family and being loved by family has included some of the most painful and the most joyful experiences of my life. There are some days.... when it's so so hard to continue to just Let Go and Let God... to surrender it all to a power greater than myself. Continuing to share here and going to lots and lots of meetings has really helped me to filter out what to speak about with family members and what's best left for discussion with my sponsor and other Alanons. Years ago I made a boundary concerning my own mother. I clearly had told her that a particular topic was off limits when speaking with one another. It wasn't necessary for me to give an explanation but I did. I told her that I wanted to keep our mother/daughter relationship a good one. This was also a boundary for me. I was not going to be able to vent to my mother any longer about that particular thing. My sponsor and other program people helped me release those feelings through hearing their shares and my sharings with them. I hope you'll keep sharing with us and have good moments with your mom. Alcoholism can really steal good moments with family members if we allow it.  Hugs!  TT

 

I just stepped into the shower... so many mom thoughts came with me, lol

Just want to share that Al-Anon taught me that my circumstances are never about me and them. It's always about me and God, God using people to help change me and my character. It's brilliant I figure because I probably wouldn't be so willing to change any other way.

I'm learning to stop blaming my "dis-ease" on others. For me, it works like this... their dis-ease triggers my dis-ease. But Al-Anon told me I have choices, I don't have to let anyone's dis-ease control me. I can own my power. I can practice self-control. I can have a peaceful life, finding contentment and even happiness no matter what chaos is going on around me, God is THAT powerful.

When I'm trusting God, grace takes over and I am calm, stepping forward to do the next right thing. And then the next right thing. the first task is getting quiet and peaceful within... building trust with acceptance that the universe is unfolding as it should. It's going to be okay, no matter what, God is just guiding me. I squirm sometimes, it gets uncomfortable... trusting and relaxing is very new behavior for me....

But we just keep coming back... trusting... trusting. Everything unfolds on God's timing, we get our knowing when the knowing comes, it just comes over us calmly... forcing solutions is not God, it's me and ego again. My job is to relax.... and keep trusting....

 

(I probably needed that more than you....... so thanks for "listening")

-- Edited by 2HP on Thursday 6th of October 2016 12:15:09 PM

Hey 2hp. Im loving your program.l. One of the winner's I think. Thanks for another belter.x