The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading is about the experience of someone who came to alanon and could only see the differences between herself and all of the others at the meeting. She kept going to meetings, and after some time she began to see that the group was an even playing field. All of them had been affected by alcoholism in a friend, family member or significant other/spouse.
Being affected by alcoholism can feel so isolating, for me when I realized I had so much in common with everyone at the meeting I understood the phrase 'you are not alone', and was comforted by it. There is a group of people who understand me completely because they are living with the effects of alcoholism. One of the great strengths of our program is being near others who can say 'I remember when I felt that same way' or 'something that helped me in that situation was...'
One specific aspect of the program that has deepened my recovery was connecting with my sponsor. I am fortunate to have found a connection with someone who is understanding and gentle, and also helps guide me with some direction when I am feeling lost or off course.
Certainly we are distinct human beings with individual traits and differences. Our common experience brought us together though, and I am grateful we are not alone.
Great topic Mary Thanks I know that i can readily identify I came to program thinking that I was unique and was alsways compring my thoughts to that of others when they shared. Thanks to HP I did get a sponsor who suggested that I stop comparing an try identifying with what was said-- that did it.
Thanks for your service.
Good morning all - thank you Mary for your service, the daily and your ESH. I remember arriving at my first meeting, and wanted quick fixed for the qualifiers in my life. I was angry, broken and hopeless. When I did not hear what I wanted to hear (they were the issue, and here's how you fix them), I isolated even more. I had to keep trying my way a bit longer before I realized I played a role in all that was affecting my peace of mind!
I returned with an open mind and remember clearly being asked to look for similarities instead of differences in shares. Most likely, that was stated at my first meeting too, but I did not hear it as my motives were selfish and self-centered and I was listening for what I wanted to hear. I am grateful the program allows us to come in, come back and show up at any and every turn in our lives. I am grateful for the seeds that have been planted by others who came before me. I can today listen actively hopeful always to hear my HP's message in the voice of another.
I still struggle to listen actively at times, but it's about progress and not perfection. I am way better than I was when I arrived! Thank you for all the gifts we get from recovery!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
