The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This past Wednesday, my F2F Al-Anon group had a pot luck. It's always a great time and we end up with more folks than typical - so the more the merrier. I have been the one who suggests them and have no problem putting together a sign-up sheet and sending out reminders - it's an easy process for me and I have time.
I love my home group and we are very good about using the traditions and principles in all our affairs. I am well-known now as the foodie because I love eating (well known) and I'll try just about anything. So - we were having great informal fellowship over our lovely pot-luck food and I was getting teased about my love of food....
We got to talking about more frequent pot lucks and about eating out. I shared that this place has this special on Monday, and that restaurant has such-such on Tuesday, and was able to go through most of the days of the week...we were chuckling that I knew all this from memory and so I suggested any who wanted to meet up on Monday for $1 Tacos @ a near-by restaurant. As we were discussing this, I realized Monday was also my birthday.
Here's were my 'isms' come in for me. I immediately panicked as I thought it was very tacky of me to plan my own birthday party - even if it wasn't intended that way. As I was pausing and processing, others noticed I went quiet (doesn't happen often) and someone asked what was up. So - I told them - I do try to be honest always and Al-Anon is a safe place.
I can tell you that there was instant glee and nobody said anything remotely like I was thinking. Instead everyonI e was super excited that they would be celebrating my birthday with me!!! This for me shows me how 'off' my own thinking can be. No matter how much time I am in recovery and how much I try to put me first, I am still awkward at times and have self-doubt. The beauty of Al-Anon is they genuinely accept me exactly as I am, know I had no false pretenses and are excited to be meeting up for tacos on Monday.
I still have more to learn, and I am grateful that in that moment, I shared my truth instead of saying, "Nothing is wrong." These are the freedoms the program has gifted me with and these are the fellowship family I am proud to call my friends of today.
For those who plan to say Happy Birthday on Monday, I found out my white-board writing that I am humbled to share the date of my birth with another dear member here at MIP - Jerry!!! He and I are 'brother/sister' through our shared birthday! That gave me gratitude when I noticed as I truly am beyond humbled to share that day with him.
Lastly for those of you who know I am here often, I'm playing tournament tomorrow. I won't be around as much as usual. Have a glorious evening and a lovely Saturday!
(((Hugs))) to all!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Happy Birthday to you and to Jerry! Thank you for this share. The searching and fearless honesty that long-time members share is so valuable to me, and appreciate you talking through your thought process and how you chose honesty in this instance. And good luck at golf tomorrow!
Tomorrow is softball vs. golf......golf is for when I retire from softball - which should have happened already (based on some schools of thought!!)
Thanks for the well wishes - up and on the fields early!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Sis I will hold you in my heart on the 19th along with another recovering family member who I met on our birthday date and who was going into detox. I didn't even know if she knew I was there. Her sister dropped by my place of work so that I "could meet" someone she wanted me to meet. We have birthdates and she has a sobriety celebration of 17 years...How awesome!! I just had a M&M sundae and wish I could have shared that with you.
I ask my Higher Power to hold you in his heart and intentions especially on the 19th. (((((hugs)))))
Hooray, thanks for the share Iamhere and happy birthday! It's wonderful how shame can dissolve when we decide to be vulnerable and open, I feel like I would have had a similar concern and it's great to hear that it's nothing to worry about.
Hey birthday brother - that sundae sounds extremely heavenly!!! Yummy! How great that we have another kindred spirit for our special day! I too will hold you in my heart Monday. I had a great uncle who was a quiet, passionate soul - has since passed on - and he too was born on the 19th.
Midnightowl - thanks so much!
Make it a great day all - (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
(((Mirandac))) - The AA meetings I attend do seem to celebrate the group each year with an anniversary and also have a BBQ and a few other celebrations. I feel fortunate to have found the Al-Anon group I did - I think when it first came up - the idea of a pot luck - everyone was unsure. But it went well, so folks wanted more. I am one who thinks that casual conversation around food is a great ice-breaker. We even had some new folks who were only around for 1-2 weeks (we meet weekly) who signed up, brought food and seemed grateful to have some 'fun' with others who understand. This group was truly not that 'close' until we started these. I think it has brought us closer. We did start with a discussion at a group conscious meeting. When the majority agreed, we tried it - and just never looked back.
I share just in case you want to suggest it - worse case scenario, others aren't interested. Just a thought - I wasn't sure how it would go but committed myself from the start and it does seem to bring closeness that we didn't have before.
Thanks to you and Alyce for the b-day wishes.....I am actually kind of excited for my birthday and that's not happened for years!!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I am excited for you and an outing with
Your alanon friends on your birthday.
I could mention it at our monthly mtgs
We meet at 930am only trouble. Some
One likes to put up snacks and drinks no
one really gets into it that time of day.
Sometimes we walk or go swimming in
Smaller groups and that is only seasonally