The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Wednesday night I went to a face to face al-anon meeting and I came out of the meeting angry as ever. I was angry at what alcoholism has done to me and other...and the mess we are left to clean up. The next day, I was in a angrier mood. What is going on. Today, I feel back on track. Any feedback would be great!
Not sure Joker I know that I turned my sadness, and self pity into anger so as to express it in a powerful manner. This is a dreadful disease but thanks to it, I have found my HP and tools to enrich my life. I think it is a good trade off .
joker - feeling and expressing anger can be a very healthy thing, especially when you have clarity as to why you feel how you feel. I tend to look at all emotions as neither good nor bad, unless they are taken to extremes. Anger can be a sign that we're developing a healthy level of self protection. I can relate to feeling angry about the damage that alcohol can and does cause. Then, after I acknowledge that it's reasonable and ok to feel this way, it fades with time. It's like I need to process and digest it.
joker - for me, I often have anger on the surface, but when I look deeper, there is a secondary emotion. Whether it be fear, grief, sorrow or other - I never know until I take the time to really look at me. Keep doing what you are doing and all answers come to the surface when you're ready to know/hear/see them.
(((Hugs)))
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I understand so well, living with alcoholism is too much for most of us. It took me awhile to realize that often my anger came from the feeling of being controlled... I feel so angry when I feel controlled. But they told me I was allowing it. I allowed his disease to control me and my entire life. Then they told me I didn't have to do that anymore, I had choices.
My suggestion, when you are angry, say nothing. Know that this is part of dis-ease, it's like a cold coming on and we need to go into immediate self-care and self-nurturing, just start pouring it on. Anger is like a war going on in my head, like, I'm at war with myself. I really don't want to do that anymore, I have suffered enough.
Trying to conquer him by anger was foolish because it only caused anger in HIM, it never brought us more peace. Anger is often why people end up on the evening news.
When I feel angry, it's best that I recognize my life is unmanageable. Then I start talking to Higher Power, "I need your help, like NOW." It's just amazing how effective God is. I believe God just waits to be useful to us, (what good is having a higher power if we don't use it??) God gives us free will and when I ask for help, He seems to gladly jump in.
-- Edited by 2HP on Friday 16th of September 2016 11:18:36 AM
I took my anger to the tables time and time again, absolutely. Sometimes I over-shared, I would just vomit all over my home group. But they understood it and they told me the poison needed to come out, it had been held down for so long (denial.) They assured me they had no emotional attachment and the tables were a safe place to express my anger, rather than directing it at my alcoholic.
I am so pleased that you are taking care of yourself by attending meetings, "the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step," as they say (((hugs)))
I don't do anger. or at least that is what I used to say!!! Really, I don't do anger!!!
Then one day I was furious, it felt like a tornado inside my head, inside my body, and I though wow, my feelings are returning... and they start with this?!!! What on earth is this?!!
I didn't have a clue what to do with all the anger I felt so I went for a three hour hike and decided that it was ok, of course I was angry, who wouldn't be? After a while I could look at that anger and ask it what it needed from me. The strange thing is that when I first did this I kind of heard a small voice in my head say 'sorry to disturb you, it's ok now' and my anger just faded away. Hope that doesn't sound too weird!!!
I try to look at what makes me angry and as IAH says, sometimes it is fear or frustration or a boundary being crossed. Sometimes I can trace it back to my own 'if only' thinking.
For fifty plus years I didn't do anger and now, finally, I am learning to make it my friend.
-- Edited by milkwood on Friday 16th of September 2016 12:13:07 PM
This is one of my favorite subjects, i embrace my
Healthy anger it propels me toward changing and
Growing and inner healing.
When you first start coming out of denial and are
starting To face your reality then anger erupts. Let
yourself Grieve, be gentle and loving with yourself
and let God hold you as you process and eventually
let go Of your painful emotions and feelings.
I was going to my divorce group during my rage
Stage and that was very helpful. I had to forgive
Myself and my xah when i was able. Rage is A
terrible feeling/emotion and eats you up. I feel
For people that live in it.
Healthy Anger is good as long as it is not toxic Or
taking it out on others or yourself. Hold on tight
To your program and your HP.
You are on your recovery Journey, sending you
A warm healing hugs
