The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Last summer vacation was very boring for our kids. They complained about the last vacation. I was little busy during their vacation time. So for the coming December, we planned to go out for a trip to Algonquin Park, Ontario /. There are many thrilling games and activities for the kids. But the thing concerns me is about my hubby. He is very much addicted to the alcohol. I am afraid about a trip with him. He will do weird things when his mind is black. But I can't avoid him for the trip too because he may feel inferior to himself. this happened once we avoided him and he was drinking for the whole day. What can I do? Are there any solutions for this? How could I manage him during the trip? Any advice, please!!
-- Edited by hotrod on Friday 16th of September 2016 06:46:55 AM
I find it helpful to keep the focus on myself and the positive things in my life. I accepted my husband's alcoholism and that it was his choice to do what he was doing and I needed to manage my expectations about our holidays. For example one time I was working in Asia we agreed to meet up for a holiday in Thailand - very romantic thing to do, thought I. But alcohol had a strong hold at that time and my husband was asleep most afternoons and not much fun to be around. So what could I do?
I booked myself into the spa at the hotel and enjoyed some wonderful Thai massages. When we planned to go on a lovely boat trip around the islands and my husband decided to pull out of the trip I went anyway - it was so beautiful, and I had lunch on a beautiful beach and paddled with tropical fish around my ankles. So my day did not have to fit in with my husband's agenda and my agenda could survive if I let it. Yes, I would have loved it to have been a more romantic experience, but the reality is that wasn't what happened. Instead when I think of that holiday I have lovely memories of a peaceful place, beautiful sunsets, warm water and yes, a few dramas and a glaring realisation that the world isn't always what I imagine!
Working the Al-Anon program and packing my tools with me helps so much for living with, travelling with or loving an alcoholic. When we admit we are powerless over people, places and things, it helps to realize we can not change another, but we can impose changes in what we are willing to deal with based on boundaries and detaching with love.
I took my husband to visit my parents this year and it went way better than I had anticipated. Of course, I was trying to stay in the present and focus on One Day at a Time, yet my crazy brain kept trying to project gloom and doom. It was a great learning experience for me in how powerful it really is to stay present and focus on just today.
Keep coming back!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Chris John - vacation can be difficult and I think it comes down to managing the alcoholic less and doing what you will enjoy despite what they choose to do.
